OPINION
Last Monday The Australian newspaper ran an article in its business gossip column Margin Call.
“Cranbrook camp caper hushed up”, the headline claimed.
Cranbrook is prestigious Anglican boys’ school in Sydney. It opened in 1918, and the school is built around an opulent house that was previously used as the residence for the Govenor of New South Wales.
It’s a pricey and prestigious school which counts many notable Australians among it’s ‘old boys’. Businessman Mike Cannon-Brooks, at least three generations of the Packer media dynasty, author Patrick White, and actor Sam Red are just a few of the famous people who went to Cranbrook.
In recent years the has also had quite few controversies. There have been reports alleging students displayed antisemitic behavior. A Four Corners investigation in 2024 alleged incidents of bullying sexual harassment and described the school as having a toxic culture. There’s also been mass resignation from the school’s governing council over plans to allow female students at the school from 2026.
The news of a hush up over a new scandal certainly got the attention of The Australian. They reported that parents of teenagers at the school had been firing off in a WhatsApp group over reports of “inappropriate behaviour” on a recent school camp.
The Australian reported that those involved had been spoken to by senior staff, and external advice had been sought by the Association for Independent School. Police had even been called, but they apparently but showed no interest in the situation because “nothing remotely criminal had occurred”.
Worries surrounding what the “inappropriate behaviour” had entailed had been sparked by an email sent to parents informing them of that something had happened. As the incident was not outlined it seems parent’s imaginations ran wild and free.
The school then sent a second email trying to get all the parents who were ramping up on WhatsApp to calm down, before sending a third message that had a longer explanation but was still quite vague, and it sent parent’s “absolutely bonkers” according to the newspaper.
Asked about the hoo-ha the school responded saying “Cranbrook School updates parents on a regular basis about a range of matters.”
Yesterday the story developed further when it was picked up by The Daily Mail.
It’s progressed from a Cranbrook camp caper (nice alliteration) to a full-blown scandal.
“How a naïve, innocent moment between two schoolboys on a camping trip erupted into an unspeakable White Lotus-style scandal at one of Australia’s most prestigious schools” reads their headline.
It’s quite a feat to get that many words in a headline and adding in The White Lotus bit would have been great for SEO on the day the final episode of the series was airing.
They claimed that the parents group chat had got out of control when it was suggested that a “White Lotus style sex act” had occurred. Insert photo of Saxon and Lochlan.
The school gave the media outlet a more detailed statement saying that the “incident” had occurred at the school’s outdoor education program.
And confirmed that after getting advice from the Association of Independent Schools, and checking in with police, they issued a series of messages to parents.
“‘As a school, we seek to balance our duty of care to any students involved with the need to provide appropriate information and reassurance to our parent community.
“The wellbeing and safety of all our students remains our highest priority.” a spokesperson said.
And what was this shocking incident that sparked the panic? Well, the Daily Mail’s sources say, “other students had seen two senior schoolboys kissing each other.”
Cue shock and horror.
Why is any school having this reaction to two boys kissing?
What is with those WhatsApp groups?
Who are those parents?
How is this getting through the gatekeeper under the heading of business gossip reporting?
I don’t think the scandal is two boys kissing…
Let’s hope nobody ever finds out what I got up to in high school.
