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When the Pee Dance Calls

When Darkness Falls (2007), out now on DVD, is a gay horror anthology movie directed by Jeff London (Arizona Sky, The Last Year), comprised of a duo of 45 minute short films, When Darkness Falls and The Best of Care. Both are quite light in the horror department- if you can sit through an episode of Buffy without screaming (yelling at Xander and Spike to just kiss already doesn’t count) then you should be able to handle this film.  Alas, of the five actors who appear in both films, whilst all are attractive, only two can really act. This painful, porn-movie style acting, couple with no corresponding porn-movie style nookie, may deter all but the most determined or masochistic viewer.

Best of Care is a competent creepy film about a guy caring for his ailing boyfriend who wrongly thinks he’ll be free to date again when boyfriend dies. It’s well made and well acted, so nuts to that!

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Second film When Darkness Falls is a campily fun tale about Kevin (Mike Dolan), an odd guy who has wooed his latest date, Danny (the VERY easy on the eye Matt Austin) to his beautiful but remote cabin in the mountains of California one Friday evening. Things go slightly awry from the get-go, when, instead of getting his jollies in the traditional horizontal fashion, Kevin prefers to terrify Danny with tales of the cemetery down the road, and an undead serial killer that is rumoured to prowl it after dark on Saturday. And as Rebecca Black taught us, Friday is soon followed by Saturday and Kevin’s self-cock blocking (seriously dude, why SCARE this hot guy stiff when you could make him stiff in a much more pleasant fashion) soon takes a back seat to some eerie noises and appearances that may be the living dead. Or, as Kevin’s gate-and-date-crashing friends Steve (Ron Petronicolos) and Jason (Craig Staswick) tell the pair, it ‘might be just a Grizzly bear’. Either way, probably not the best idea to go investigate armed only with a flashlight! Craig Staswick’Jason is (unintentionally) hilarious-  repeating lines several times, presumably because he’s not sure the camera caught them and best of all, his reaction to anything scary happening is to dance on the spot with his legs crossed and hands wringing- Paranormal Activity? Do the Pee-Pee Dance!

Dumb but endearing fun with hot guys and gorgeous scenery. Not all Gay horror can be Nightmare on Elm Street 2 people!

Gavin Pitts

 

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