Revelation Perth International Film Festival is here, once again showcasing the best and boldest international, Australian and local cinema.
This year will also see the return of the City of Vincent short film showcase, telling stories from the neighbourhood surrounding Luna Palace cinemas where the festival is being held.
Director Jennifer ‘JP’ Piper and producer Leslie Hornung have a very personal story to share with their documentary offering What We Do For Family.
The documentary tells the story of Leslie, his chosen family Sam and Alex, and their journey to bring a child into their world.
Speaking to OUTinPerth, JP says she had no idea the trio had this plan to “make a tiny human.”
“When we first started discussing it, from my perspective, it was very much Leslie’s story, so that was very interesting to me, it’s not something that we see very often.
“Ordinarily I would be all about the birthing parent because they’re the one putting their life at risk, but we had this interesting scenario of a person who grew up with an absent father sort of deliberately planning to become a kind of absent father and that really struck me is as an interesting choice because on the surface, that’s what it is.
“But really when you think about what chosen family is and how beautifully chaotic and organic and extended and seemingly nonsensical, these families that we grow into are. It’s not really a sort of paternal absenteeism anymore, right?
“The beauty of documentary kicked in and as we explored the story further, and once I’d met Alex and Sam… this story emerged of Sam and Leslie, who are the two non-birthing parents and their beautiful relationship. In interviewing both of them, because I interviewed Sam and Alex without Leslie in the room, the one common thread between Sam and Leslie was that every stage and in relation to every facet of this adventure, both of them thinks of the other before they think of themselves.
“As it turns out, whether this child comes into being or not, it doesn’t actually affect the fact that these people are a family. For me, who very much depends on and adores my chosen family, that was the most exciting thing to me. This isn’t transactional, this isn’t conditional. They’re family.”
Leslie has known Sam for most of his life. Growing up in Palmyra together, the pair grew closer through school and as they spent time together thanks to Sam’s friendship and Leslie’s sister.
“She met Alex and then they got married and decided that they wanted to have a kid. They didn’t know how to approach me about this, but they knew they always wanted a sperm donor who they knew, and they wanted the child to know the donor as well,” Leslie says.
“So then one drunken night at my sister’s wedding they came up and asked. I may have already known because my sister had let me in on the secret… basically, it was a yes right away.
“Growing up queer I had no idea what I would do when it comes to having kids. In my mind, I was like do I foster when I’m older? Do I adopt? Do I wait until I have a partner? What do I do? I also knew that I wasn’t financially ready, I wasn’t probably emotionally ready, I still had all these things I want to do in my life.
“Then this just happens upon me this, this amazing opportunity and I thought… Yeah! With two people that I adore so much and we have this really great friendship and family and connection and our families know each other so well? We’re basically already family. It just works.
The film begins about two years along the road for Sam, Alex and Leslie. Surprisingly, JP and Leslie explain this is still early in the process.
“After the initial ask, which I gather was a little while coming as well? They spent a year just between them,” JP tells us.
“The basics, the fundamentals of what it would look like and if they were certain of how they would go about it. Time to make the decision to work with a fertility specialist so that they had counselling support, but also legal support, because there’s a whole lot of potential pitfalls in terms of custody claims down the track if you don’t do a bunch of counselling. Then a round of tests. Blood tests, sperm samples, ultrasounds, then some more counselling, then some more test results…
“We’re not even up to fertilisation. It is a long, involved, emotionally costly process. So that is going to be one very, very wanted baby.
Though the story is very intimate and personal, and for many people in similar situations very private, Leslie explains he hoped the film could reach others going through the same process, or struggling to find their own path forward.
“I keep thinking now ‘Why am I sharing all of this with the world?’ It felt like such a good idea at the time and now I’m like, oh this is actually quite terrifying.
“But so many other people who are queer couples, who are going through the same thing, or don’t know how to have children or when to have children, even non queer families, have come forward with their stories.
“I thought maybe people do need this. People in the community are going through exactly the same thing. As we’re editing it and pushing it out there, I’m realising that there are a lot of people who are very close to where I live, who are dealing with this and going through the same thing. I think that’s kind of beautiful. It’s like solidarity. As as JP has mentioned before about it being so taboo, I haven’t really heard a lot until I’ve done it and then people are coming forward and it’s kind of, that’s really cool.”
JP echoes Leslie, sharing that when he approached her with the idea for What We Do For Family, it wasn’t the first time the subject had been raised with her that month.
“The fact that if you’re not part of a couple that’s cisgender, different sex, you have to plan it. It’s not just spontaneously one night we felt so in love that we made a baby.
“And I mean, what a thing to be embarrassed about! Having so much love to give and caring so much about people who exist and a potential future person, that you go through all of this, that you commit to the resilience and staying power of this process… and that’s something we don’t want to scream about and celebrate?
Though the journey is never completely smooth when people do these things we do for family, JP and Leslie’s documentary, at it’s core, tells a story of a chosen family who’ve found each other and filled their lives with love.
“Yes, there is that trauma of wanting something so much that isn’t certain and then potentially losing it. But in this situation, I think especially for Leslie, there’s the potential potential pain of not being able to do this thing for these people you love,” JP says.
“I think we all have fears of rejection, of having to earn our spot, especially within our community, and that’s a lot to take on. One of the things that really struck Sam and Alex in this whole thing is how quickly and definitely Leslie was willing to go through this, and do this for really not any actual reward. The reward is just the gift and I think that’s kind of amazing.”
“This is the kind of project at just every turn, you find yourself feeling love and hope for the future. At the moment, I think we have all got enough torment and pain, so it’s been such a such a lovely project on which to work.
“Our Director of Photography and I would leave a shoot and just quietly say to each other – Can we be a part of this family too?”
What We Do For Family is screening as part of Revelation Film Festival’s Closing Night, this Sunday 16 July. For more information, head to revelationfilmfest.org
Leigh Andrew Hill
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