Joey Cookman wants to have a baby.
Cookman and her partner have been trawling the internet for same-sex parenting information but have struggled to find people in WA who have experienced the complexities of gay couples having children.
‘As far as I’m aware, there aren’t any official groups that are known widely in the community for people are seeking information about becoming same-sex parents,’ Cookman said.
‘There aren’t really any resources available, or any that I can find in my research that help direct same-sex couples who want to have babies.’
The couple recently joined a website called Bubhub, looking for anybody else in WA who was in a same-sex relationship.
‘They had a section on there for same-sex partners but I have posted a couple of messages on there and haven’t had a response,’ she said.
‘It would be nice for people thinking about having a child, as well as people in the process of trying to get pregnant and people who have had a child, to meet together and collaborate resources and information.’
Currently there are no organisations dedicated to same-sex parenting in WA except for online resources and word-of-mouth. Same-sex parents are known to have formed their own groups but there has been no official organisation since Families Like Ours in 2006 and Parents With Pride almost 10 years ago.
Joanna Maltas is a mother in a same-sex family and has been attending a same-sex parent playgroup in North Perth since August 2008.
Maltas found that as a parent in a new type of family, she wanted her children to have peers who they could relate to since they would have experiences she had never encountered.
Many children in same-sex families will eventually have to face some important decisions such as if they plan to contact the donor sibling registry and if they would like to meet their donor parent.
North Perth Playgroup founder Tracey Delaporte-Cooke said the playgroup gave children from same-sex families an opportunity to see other families like their own.
‘It is important in two main ways: to provide same-sex parents a social group to share their experiences and gain support as parenting situations arise that are particular to same sex couples,’ Delaporte-Cooke said.
‘…to provide the children with a social experience and allow them to develop relationships with other children who have a family situation like theirs.
‘Most of the people who attend have said at one point or another that this group is important to them.’
Delaporte-Cooke said there were limited resources available for gay parents, which was why the North Perth Playgroup was established.
While the group mainly consisted of parents with children aged five and under, Delaporte-Cooke said children over five were welcome during school holidays.
The founder did hope in future a group for older children and teenagers of same-sex parents would provide support as their children hit puberty.
Support services in Perth are limited for teenagers of same-sex parents but local organisations such as Gay and Lesbian Counselling Services; the Freedom Centre and PFLAG Perth (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) did have some experience and resources to help this demographic.
Local mother Fiona Haste and her partner have taken over the online Pink Sofa parenting group and occasionally hold play dates open to all parents.
Australian websites such as www.rainbowfamilies.org.au offer a bevy of resources and links for future and current gay parents while US-based website colage.org is dedicated to people with LGBT parents.
As for Cookman, she still just wanted to speak to other same-sex couples about the processes and experiences of pregnancy for a gay family.
The 24-year-old planned to create a group in Perth for other same-sex attracted parents and parents-to-be.
‘It would create a close-knit group and it would provide more moral support and a shoulder to cry, whereas you can’t really do that over the internet,’ Cookman said.
‘If you can meet up as a group, you might be able to meet babysitters at the same time,’ Cookman laughed ‘and make new friends and everybody will help each other along,’
• Interests in a new same-sex parenting group can contact Joey Cookman at joeyfaye@gmail.com
• The North Perth Playgroup meets on Tuesdays 12-2pm at North Perth Playgroup – for parents with children generally between 0 – 5 years.
• Click here for the Parents Gathering for Same-Sex Families facebook page or contact Fiona from the Pink Sofa Parenting Group at fi75au@hotmail.com.
www.rainbowfamilies.org.au
www.colage.org
www.glcs.org.au
www.freedom.org.au
www.pflagwa.org.au
Benn Dorrington
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