PSD = WTF?
Last month, we saw Perth’s Serial Dater become smitten and gushy for a certain American doctor. He was gushing like a blind lesbian in a fish shop. The doctor, a chiropractor, then failed to call after three days. PSD called on day four, and the doctor said he was busy and didn’t have time to catch up.
Rejection Excuse #25: I’m too busy.
PSD wrote the book. He also wrote the book on how to sound impressive using your job title. After researching the Chiropractic Association of Australia website our favourite Serial Dater discovered that Chiro’s aren’t even real doctors, they are merely physicians. This called for Gossip Time with PSD’s BFF.
“He’s not even in your league.†BFF confidently stated.
League. Noun
an association of states or organizations or individuals for common action.
PSD was puzzled as to what exactly constituted someone’s league? Surely PSD was out of this Doctor’s league. But was there more to it? This rejection required a certain analysis of who was better than who. Read on:
So, daters and lovers, someone’s league is determined by a number of factors:
Their Percieved League, or PL, is a function of their actual league, known as AL, and their Recognised Social Standing, commonly referred to as RSS, which is out of 10. So considering the Faux Doctor is an A-hole, we’ll give him a 5. If you take his PL and multiply it by his RSS you’ll get AL x HF, widely known as Hot Factor. HF is broken down into three parts. Confidence [C], Body [B] and Outfit [O]. Obviously all three contributions relate to each other and also are relative to each other. A ripped tradie in rags will produce a relatively high HF.
Following? Good.
So on a night out,
HF = (C + B + O)/3,
Assuming O > 9, and B ~= 8 then C must be at least 8.
Substitute the value of HF into the formula described above and solve for AL.
PL x RSS = HF x AL
for the Faux Doctor, we have:
95% x 5 = 8.66 x AL
Therefore AL or Actual League = 0.548.
You with me?
Right.
So there are factors which can make someone’s league seem higher than it actually is. Like, who they are seen with and how much they can hold their own. (I’m talking about in conversation, you pervert.) But, it’s easy to uncover where their AL lies in the grand scheme of things. When it’s all said and done, an AL can change.
I know it may sound strange.
But what matters is where the person believes they lie in the pecking order.
You know. The recognised Gay Pecking Order? (so THAT’s what GPO stands for….)
At number #1 you have Bomb-shell Masculine Tops.
At number #2 you have Bomb-shell Masculine Bottoms.
You get the picture.
And the GPO changes due to three things, firstly how often they are seen on the scene. The GTI, Gay Trash Index- which is four divided by three plus the number of times you think he goes out every week.
Simple right?
Secondly – the Who Looks Up To Who Concept.
The WLUTWC;
If he looks up to you, you multiply by five fourths.
If you look up to him, you multiply by three fourths.
And thirdly:
The bitterness factor (BF)
Rate the bitterness of the rejection on a scale of one to ten.
(PSD gave it a 2, he was disgustingly bitter)
You take that number, divide by point five and then you get the BF.
And it’s as simple as that!
So PSD pondered on the Faux Doctor’s actual league.
AL = AL x 1/(GPO) where GPO = GTI x ¾ x 2 / 0.5.
So his Actual League is 0.0548, or 5.5%, otherwise known as C-grade.
PSD was so out of this guy’s League. He’s not even a real doctor.
Faux love, from a Trashy McTrashbag emotional-fix whore “Physicianâ€.
Word.
Perth Serial Dater
