OPINION
Last year Los Angeles club ‘The Abbey’, which has been referred to as the best gay bar in the world, banned bachelorette parties from their venue. The club said the US equivalent of a ‘Hen’s Night’ was not welcome in their club following the overturn of same sex marriage in California.
In the UK the arrival of Hen’s Nights, inspired by the popular TV show ‘Queer as Folk’, have been blamed for the death of Manchester’s gay entertainment area Canal Street. As far back as 2006 writer Ian Herbet reported in ‘The Independent’ that owners of clubs saw Hen’s Nights as one of the things that killed their business.
At first glance, a Hen’s night would not seem too out of place in a gay venue, after all we quite like dress ups and it’s not unusual to see a whole bunch of people of one gender together. But you don’t have to ponder on this topic long to realise that it’s actually quite insulting.
Why would you go and celebrate that you’re about to partake in an important ritual, one of the biggest moments of your adult life, in front of a room full of people who are denied that very right? And sure, you may say that you also support marriage equality for all your gay friends, but I’m strangely yet to see the recently married contingent turn up to an Equal Love rally.
At the time last year that Hollywood club The Abbey shut the doors to Hen’s Night’s another US club manager commented on the decision. Speaking to the Las Vegas Sun Kelly Murphy, manager of the Sin City venue Drink and Drag said, “Personally, I just don’t think that you restrict another group’s rights to try to get your own rights somehow approved.”
Yet, do we have to have rulings on everything? Can’t we just add this one to the big book of good etiquette? Slot it alongside other accepted ways of behaving, like not eating until everyone is served, not typing all in capitals and no dancing around hand bags. Just make a vow, “I will not have my Hen’s night in a gay bar.”
Not everyone is waiting for the law to change though, many of us our having commitment ceremonies or heading overseas to tie the knot. I wonder if any of us are heading along to a straight venue for our last big night on the town?
Graeme Watson
