Dear Julia Gillard. Women in power- it’s the way it should be. Although I have to admit I don’t like the current bob. It’s a bit serious. A bit hard. You had a real sexy moment with that hair – we need to return to that. Until such time I’m sorry but you’re like a serious lesbian who isn’t having fun. And no-one wants to look like that. Big love and scissors, mOther.
WHAT… is with Grindr!? Girlfriend, I’ve been shown some of the profile pictures you boys put up and they are NASTY! Mmmhmm. One guy looked like Justin Bieber and another had some freakish feature wall in the background painted red with a curtain in front of it. I mean – SERIOUSLY!? Who has that in their house!? Oh… and if people can see your toilet in the background, THAT AIN’T SEXY! So… mOther wants you to send the nastiest Grindr photographs you see to her mother@www.outinperth.com. Go on… you know you’ve seen them.
I hear Val Nourished is leaving town. Heading over to America. We’re sure we’ll miss her. Bon voyage ‘little’ one!
Famous. Fridays. The two words don’t typically go together… until now. Famous Fridays is the brainchild of Feminem ‘The Future’ Hygiene and the Connections Crew and promises to be strong like a pair of Balmain shoulders in Balenciaga heels. It’s a night given over to the making of stars, with equal parts of Venemous, Ivy Drip, Fab Panache and Karmen Zydme coming together on stage while celebrities like Sandy Beaches, Ash Baroque, Barbie Q and The Giselle converge to show the masses how one should shake their asses. Mmmmhmmm. Hostess d’jour Feminem will be on hand to lead proceedings while opening night sees international DJ Wayne G spinning the decks. Expect some epic twisted tunes, the kind that will have you up and dancing in no time at all. All happens Friday July 9 and every Friday thereafter. Get ready to be a star!
LOVE Sundays @ Luxe has hit the big 1, and did so in fabulous style. It was a gorgeous evening headed up by the ever so gorgeous Michelle and Fem and the fantastic Luxe team. Rumour has it they have a new PR boy in place, with Claire French kissing our city goodbye to work on one of Berlin’s biggest festivals. She’s leaving soon, so no doubt there’ll be a party. Keep watching Luxe Bar for details, and if you get the chance head on down to LOVE Sundays and kick it up alongside boys and girls of every persuasion. DJs Fem and Johnni P are on hand to tantalise.
Climaxx is back! Those crazy kids responsible for some truly impressive dance parties are returning to Perth and they promise to deliver an epic night of dance proportions. Sydney’s DJ Dan Murphy will be headlining while DJs Rob Blandford and Paul Mcance will be offering support. The theme? White! Perfect for winter, so be sure to slap on a little artic fur, some white briefs and leave plenty of skin bare, just for kicks. Tickets are $50 each and available now. Party happens Saturday July 10 at The Italian Club from 10pm until 6am. www.climaxx.com.au
Hey ladies! Lesbian Mud Wrestling is filthy. Absolutely dirty. It involves preferably buxom young women getting into a vat of steaming mud and then letting lose on each other. No holds barred. Boobies score extra points. It is an outrageous night, one filled with a little bit of nipple and a whole heap of dirty fun. Get up to your eyeballs in muck as this mid-week caper promises to make you laugh. Lesbian Mud Wrestling happens every Wednesday night at Connections Nightclub. Interested in participating? Email promo@connectionsnightclub.com with ‘I wanna get filthy @ LMW’ in the subject line.
She’s back! mOther got a late night Facebook message the other night from Perth’s Ambassador of Trash Aunty Gillette, telling me that she’ll be returning to the scene in a blaze of glory on Saturday July 31 when Bent opens at Bar 138. DJs Drew and Jewels will dish out the tunes and there’s even free entry to Connections Nightclub if you’re wanting to kick on afterwards.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaak! Hooooork! Sorry… Fur Ball. Not in my throat, happening at Connections Nightclub on Saturday August 7. It’s another Shameless shindig, and this time it’s all about throwing a little fur – fake or otherwise – on yourself and calling it fabulous. Fabulous? Fabulous. Dress up for a chance to win $250 of hot cash or some runner up prize packs courtesy of For Play & Pleasure and Spank. What wins? Flesh, sex appeal, originality and eff-ort! So cavemen, Vikings, animals, pimps, Hollywood stars or fur hags like the Olson twins are all fair game. Get your polysexual on and get ready to party, because this is going to be fun. DJs include Tintin……
So did we hear about the drag queen who… oh, what’s that? This gossip would ruin their career? What’s that? Their career is already ruined?! Guess you’ll just have to ask mOther to find out who it is.
Until mOther is voted in as Prime Minister, love & dog bones,
mOther
xoxox.
