Mothers come in all shapes and sizes and so do families.
Jenny, Sally, Trudi and Lennon are just another family that will be celebrating Mother’s Day with lunch together on Sunday, May 9. But they’re no ordinary family – in fact they are quite extra-ordinary when it comes to their cross-generational, all -inclusive, loved-up clan.
Mother’s Day is a busy time for Lennon as he has two adoring mums, Sally and Trudi (and two dads) and an adored Nan, Jenny. While some may say being raised by same-sex parents can be difficult for a child, Lennon is a well-adjusted young adult who says he wouldn’t have his family any other way.
‘Growing up a lot of my friends have had a problems with their parents and it kind of seems weird that I and most of my friends consider that I have the most normal family, compared to what they’ve grown up with,’ he said.
‘People can say what they want about it but my family is full of love, full of support for me and that’s all anyone could ask for.’
Perhaps there is truth in the old adage, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. Lennon’s extended family have played a big role in his development, not just his mums and dads but both Trudi and Sally’s current partners (Sally and Trudi separated when Lennon was five) and several sets of grandparents. This arrangement obviously requires serious planning and communication skills.
‘For me it’s perfect,’ said Sally. ‘It’s a perfect relationship between us all- we’re very lucky. But we work at it too- it’s not something that just occurs. We made decisions about what we were going to do, about what was the right thing to do by everybody.’
‘We’ve always maintained extremely good communication and have a lot of love and respect for each other,’ added Trudi.
‘Our primary focus was always Lennon and not necessarily our own interests or egos around being parents.’
‘We’ve therefore had a really consistent and even parenting with Lennon, even though he’s lived 50/50 between our houses since the age of five.
‘As much as that was a negative and it was something none of us would have wished for – that he’s from divorced parents – its kind of been good because having that separation gives you a different perspective and allows you to be a bit more mixed and blended in what we decide to do and on keeping that consistency.’
One of a mother’s most significant tasks is the giving of advice – be it wanted or not. According to Jenny the best advice her mother ever gave her was to ‘be kind to people and not to tell lies’.
Interestingly, this advice has been passed down through the generations, as Sally says the best advice her mother, Jenny, gave her is ‘being kind to people and to have faith in the human spirit’. Lennon in turn has inherited these values by observing his mothers.
‘I’ve always noticed that both my mums and my Nan will always be so polite and nice to people – always treat people kindly and with courtesy and then people react better toward them and things work out. It’s as simple as that. I guess that’s what I’ve tried to do with my life,’ said Lennon.
‘So that’s probably the best advice I’ve got from them… that or stop reversing out of the driveway too fast,’ he laughed.
And what is the most appropriate way to thank Mum for all the advice she’s given over the years?
‘For me it’s always a card,’ said Sally. ‘The gift is the child or the children and the recognition but it’s always about the card.’
‘And that’s what he’s exceptional at,’ added Trudi.
‘His mother’s day cards are the best cards – I mean he gives great cards anyway at birthdays and Christmas and things but the sentiments he expresses on mothers day are actually very heartwarming and beautiful and that’s the best kind of present… and maybe the pink fluffy slippers that he bought me a few years ago.’
Jenny agrees that cards are a lovely Mother’s Day gift but warns sons and daughters to resist giving kitchen appliances or cleaning products.
‘You shouldn’t give them something they have to work with, it has to be something nice,’ she said. ‘It should be jewelry, a nice card or flowers, something like that.’
According to Sally, we shouldn’t have to wait for Mother’s Day to tell our mums how special they are but it is a fantastic opportunity to stop and say thanks.
‘For me it means recognising my mum and recognising the important part she plays in my life,’ she said.
For Lennon it’s ‘a day when I get to see both my mothers and my Nan and it’s always just a good day.
‘I do like getting them a gift and a card but more importantly I just like having the day with them. Its not very often I get a day with all three – my two mums and my Nan, simply because of their work and my life and it is a good way to celebrate what they do and to thank them for bringing me up and making me the person I am.’
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mum’s out there for Sunday May 9.
Amy Henderson
