Premium Content:

Lezzon 9: How to get picked up (literally)

DSC_0185It recently dawned on me that I have never actually dated. Having only had two girlfriends in my 31 years, I most certainly have courted, but in both instances I was familiar with the lady before the relationship began.

Truth be told, my only experience with lesbian dating thus far has been via a British publication by the name of Diva. I took a copy on my summer vacation to Spain a few years back and spent the holiday reading out the personal ads with friends. What struck me was the overwhelming number of lesbians who professed to like nights in and out, cats and bushwalking. The percentages were off the Richter.

- Advertisement -

It made me wonder if these interests were in fact some sort of lesbian code. I mean, bushwalking and cats – doesn’t take a genius. However, there were two ads that really struck a chord. The first was a bi-curious woman in her 50s who, like the majority, enjoyed natural landscapes and felines. But her ad conclusion was most peculiar. “Seeking a woman 40-60 with similar interests. Must have own car.” Must have own car? This woman wasn’t so much looking for a life partner as she was a lift.

The second lady who peaked my interest professed to be a fat, unattractive lesbian who liked to sit on the couch and be antisocial. She was seeking the same to have absolutely no fun with whatsoever. GSOH for sure, I thought to myself.

But I digress. Now that I’m back in Australia and flying solo again there seems only two viable ways lesbians can advertise their person: the Pink Sofa and

speed dating. For a short time we also had the female equivalent of Grindr, Qrushr, but that didn’t last long and frankly I’m not surprised. Wanting to be attuned to all things gay I decided to check Qrushr out for myself. Signing up with a pal of mine, we were quite chuffed with our user names, Hello Clitty and Kate Bush. Unfortunately for Bush and Clitty the closest online lesbians were 3500kms away. In Melbourne.

I don’t know why the lesbian App didn’t take off in WA but now I’m left sitting in front of my computer staring at the Sofa. Username? Well, Sadie Spade seems a good place to start.

Sadie Spade

Latest

Kylie Minogue’s ‘Tension’ tour arrives on Netflix

Kylie Minogue's massive Tension World Tour travelled the world last year. Now the concert film of the tour has arrived on Netflix.

National call for support for LGBTQIA+ domestic and family violence victim-survivors 

The statistics remain staggering. More than 60% of LGBTQIA+ people report having experienced domestic or family violence.

Senator Michaelia Cash grills Human Rights Commission on their support of transgender women

The Shadow Attorney General demanded explanations of how Antidiscrimination laws protect transgender women.

On This Gay Day | Composer Julius Eastman died in 1990

Julius Eastman was one of the first composers to work in minimalist and experimental music genres.

Newsletter

Don't miss

Kylie Minogue’s ‘Tension’ tour arrives on Netflix

Kylie Minogue's massive Tension World Tour travelled the world last year. Now the concert film of the tour has arrived on Netflix.

National call for support for LGBTQIA+ domestic and family violence victim-survivors 

The statistics remain staggering. More than 60% of LGBTQIA+ people report having experienced domestic or family violence.

Senator Michaelia Cash grills Human Rights Commission on their support of transgender women

The Shadow Attorney General demanded explanations of how Antidiscrimination laws protect transgender women.

On This Gay Day | Composer Julius Eastman died in 1990

Julius Eastman was one of the first composers to work in minimalist and experimental music genres.

Perth Rams advance to global voting stage for 2028 Bingham Cup bid

The Perth Rams Rugby Union Football Club has today...

Kylie Minogue’s ‘Tension’ tour arrives on Netflix

Kylie Minogue's massive Tension World Tour travelled the world last year. Now the concert film of the tour has arrived on Netflix.

National call for support for LGBTQIA+ domestic and family violence victim-survivors 

The statistics remain staggering. More than 60% of LGBTQIA+ people report having experienced domestic or family violence.

Senator Michaelia Cash grills Human Rights Commission on their support of transgender women

The Shadow Attorney General demanded explanations of how Antidiscrimination laws protect transgender women.