It’s gratifying in this day and age of Hollywood scraping the bottoms of various barrels (and not just the ones filled with Botox) and releasing almost nothing but remakes or turgid versions of classic TV shows that somehow manage to be more commercial than the original commercial-channel-aired TV shows and flatter than your flat-screen, that one franchise has bucked the trend and remade a classic television series and has delivered a product that is actually better than its originator. So grab a jar or three of Sex Wax (oh, and something to polish your surfboard with too), grab your favourite fruit-patterned shirt and brush up on your marksmanship and homoeroticism as we ride the waves (and other things) with HAWAII FIVE-O (Ten, Sundays, 8:30pm).
The original HAWAII 5-O ran for twelve seasons, from 1968-1980, and was a cult police/adventure series- kind of like a proto-MAGNUM, with the dodgy outfits (it was the Seventies after all) but without the pornstache. The show made a star out of the relatively unknown to the small-screen Jack Lord (who is now regrettably unknown to the small screen again; principally because he’s dead), had the phrase “Book ’em, Danno†enter the public lexicon and re-invented Hawaii from a relaxed tourist destination/Leper colony to a hotbed of crime, with every criminal syndicate, hit-man, smuggling operation, drug lab and book-club on the planet seemingly suddenly operating out of one of the Islands. The show was also critically hailed for being one of the very first TV shows to give a realistic portrayal of racial diversity.
A fictional branch of an American crime fighting bureau have established themselves on the Hawaiian islands (well, just the Big Island really; I doubt even a fictional Crime Department could stretch its budget to encompass all eight islands, 10 atolls and 137 islets – not to mention that some of the islets are only a kilometre or less long – it would be far too easy to find out whodunit). Said fictional cop shop is an elite team of… four cops (on second thoughts, maybe they COULD police the various tiny islets in Hawaii after all), who each week are faced with criminal plots from sex slavery to espionage to terrorism due to the aforementioned states’ apparent condition as the most crime and murder-plagued section of American soil since Elm Street or Camp Crystal Lake.
This time around the cast is just as international as the original version’s. Australian beefcake Alex O’Loughlin (last seen as the primary fangster in the Buffy-esque vampire series MOONLIGHT) plays the head of the 5-O, Steve McGarrett and spends a lot of his screen time either shirtless or in a towel (funnily enough, that was what his character in MOONLIGHT did as well; and his character in FEED…and in OYSTERFARMER…). Dan “Danno†Williams is bookin’ em in the form of (possibly Gay) American actor Scott Caan (son of James). Korean-American actor Daniel Dae-Kim (Jin-Soo Kwan on LOST) plays Chin Hoo Kelly, a friend of Danno’s from the Police Academy (hopefully not the crappy films with Steve Guttenberg) who takes the job after being framed for corruption, and Korean-Canadian actress Grace Park as former professional surfer turned rookie cop Kono Kalakaua. In addition, there are several cameos you may recognize- James Marsters (Spike from BUFFY) as a ne’er-do-well scientist turned drug dealer; Jean Smart (DESIGNING WOMEN) as Hawaii’s Governor and Kelly Hu (X-MEN) as Laura, the Governor’s private security officer. It’s nice to see a mainstream American TV series with so many Asian faces for once.
In addition to solving the various crimes that pop up seemingly every five minutes on one of the Hawaiian Islands or other, there’s a major plotline involving a Big Baddie†(this debut season’s primary nemesis appears to be Japan’s Yakuza) – and a heck of a lot of homoeroticism. Like so many other TV series of late (SUPERNATURAL, VAMPIRE DIARIES, MERLIN) the show is making the welcome move of encouraging female and GLBT viewers by sub-textually implying a relationship between two main male characters. Danno and McGarrett have literally met for like, 10 minutes before they’re both naked in the locker rooms together (just changing, settle down) and one offers “So – wanna get laid?†(cue application of the traditional Hawaiian floral necklace, the lei). There’s also a lot of unnecessary touching, loaded glances and dialogue and a fantastic scene where the two of them are handcuffed together in the same bed, leading other characters to think it’s a sex game gone a bit wrong!
Multiethnic cast, hot guys, beautiful girls, criminal goings-on and the ultimate tropical paradise setting – watch ’em, Danno!
Gavin Pitts
