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Head Scratch: People Say the Darndest Things

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This past week we’ve had a bumper crop of wacky comments about the LGBT community ranging from ignorant to unhygienic and just plain bizarre.

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First off the bat is Pastor James David Manning of New York, who previously attracted controversy for claiming that Starbucks was “ground zero for Ebola” due to a considerable portion of their clientele being “upscale sodomites”.

Last week, Manning decided to continue railing against the hot beverage franchise citing an article he read stating that Starbucks had come under investigation for using semen in their coffee. Unfortunately, he failed to realise that the article was satirical. Who did Manning claim was responsible for the apparent extra helping of cream? I’ll give you one guess.

“Starbucks is a place where these types frequent and a lot of body fluids are exchanged there.

“The thing that I was not aware of is that… what Starbucks was doing, is they were taking specimens of male semen, and they were putting it in the blends of their lattes.

“It’s the absolute truth. They’re using male semen, and putting it into the blends of coffees that they sell.

“My suspicion is that they’re getting their semen from sodomites. Semen flavours up the coffee, and makes you thinks you’re having a good time.”

Meanwhile in Brooklyn, Anthony Morris III, one of the members of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses was warning against another hazardous modern item: the tight trouser.

“What’s happened now is that it’s really caught on more – the tight suit jacket and the tight pants. Better known as tight pants. They are tight all the way down to the ankles. It’s not appropriate. It’s not sound of mind.”

“The homosexuals that are designing these clothes – they’d like you in tight pants.”

First coffee isn’t safe and now skinny jeans?! This is not good news for our friends in Melbourne. But wait, those aren’t the only inanimate objects that pose a threat to moral decency. Morris also warns against Spanx.

“Some of our sisters, what it is are these spanx… these skin tight stuff they wear, when they exercise, they leave their home and they’re jogging in this stuff.”

“Look at the verse. Is that appropriate to wear skin tight spanx or whatever they call it?”

I’ll be darned if I can recall what The Bible says about appropriate trouser tightness.

In the world of show business, actor Rose McGowan caused controversy when discussing feminism in the gay community:

“Gay men are as misogynistic as straight men, if not more so,”

“You wanna talk about the fact that I have heard nobody in the gay community, no gay males, standing up for women on any level?”

Strong words, perhaps somewhat hyperbolic, but okay, sexism is an issue that affects all communities.

“I see now people who have basically fought for the right to stand on top of a float wearing an orange Speedo and take molly.”

Oh no. Nope. Definitely not. No.

McGowan, who has previously advocated for LGBT equality, has since apologized for the comment:

“I made a dumb generalization, for that I apologize,”

“For everything else I said, no. I will not.”

Well, I guess even magical powers can’t save you from saying regrettable things.

Sophie Joske

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