To deny a gay of his Fag Hag would be like a Pride Parade without glitter or a night at The Court without Gaga or Britney… the very idea of it is ludicrous. As Margaret Cho once said, ‘Fag Hags are the back bone of the gay communityâ€.
With the earliest proof of their existence stemming right back to the days of Ancient Greece, it’s fairly safe to say fag hags are as incorporated into gay culture as the gays themselves!
So what is a fag hag?
The average person’s mind probably jumps straight to the stereotype of an overweight, probably chain smoking, unattractive woman, who immerses herself into gay culture to compensate for what has become seriously scarce, if not completely stale and overgrown in the romantic department – we can thank popular media culture for that stereotype…
To break it down a bit more we can divide this demographic into three sections. First, the ‘dressed up and messed up’ fag hags.
Let’s be honest, the gays know how to party and these are the hags who adore all the glitz, glamour, Appletini’s and attention within gay culture.
They are normally the ones found face down on the dance floor in high heels and a mini skirt but hey, ‘A’ for effort, ladies.
Secondly the ‘converters’. I genuinely feel for these hags, adopting the mentality that this amazingly deep, platonic relationship could eventually lead their fag to realise they are in love with them.
They idealise getting married, have two kids, a dog, a house with a white picket fence and pool out the back and live happily ever after. This has about as much of a success rate as a slug achieving lift off on a turtles back.
Thirdly, the genuine ’til death do us part’ fag hags. I’m talking about the doting hag who is in it for the long haul. The one who doesn’t disappear when the party is over, the glow sticks have faded and you’ve awoken to a mouth that slightly resembles the texture of an old sock.
The ‘true’ fag hag is the best friend, the mother and the match maker, hell she was probably your date to the school formal where the two of you did the ‘safety boogie’ on the dance floor.
So what is the attraction between this straight girl + gay boy partnership? There appears to be opportunity for a deep connection to develop between a gay man and a straight woman. It’s a two way venture and women tend to experience a certain openness and freedom when a close bond with the opposite gender is formed without the pressures of sex.
Likewise, gay men are also relieved of this sexual tension and seem to have a profound understanding of women on emotional level.
This relationship is unique and isn’t just a friendship, nor is it a romance, it stems from complete respect and a place of being equal. Aww, doesn’t that just make you want to slide down a rainbow?
So in a nutshell, simply being a straight girl and partying with the gays does not make you a true fag hag. Balancing the sass, charm, tears and drama, as well as blurring the lines of straight and gay society is one heck of a role and certainly not for the faint hearted.
Rest assured though once you’ve earned your title, you’ll find yourself in one of the most rewarding and colourful partnerships you’ve ever encountered. Go forth and fly fairy fagmothers!
Katie Cameron
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