Ciao, Companions! In this technological day and age, cybernetic limbs enable people without hands to play volleyball; cybernetic identities allow soulless creatures like Kyle Sandilands to appear to have a personality; and cybernetic effects in movies cover up for the follies of an all too human director like M. Night Shamayalan’s latest movie ‘disaster’ movie, it’s comforting to know that there’s at least one Doctor out there who makes house calls. Unfortunately, though he will turn up at your house, he doesn’t actually hold a doctorate in Medicine and only turns up in dire planetary emergencies, meaning that if you see him at your door you’re probably seconds away from being exterminated by Daleks, deleted by Cybermen, or given an unwilling face-transplant by a Zygon. So whilst you’re checking the attic for Wirrrn we’ll go for a trip through time and space with DOCTOR WHO (Sundays, ABC – 7:30pm).

Everyone’s favourite alien with a phonebox returns to TV this month with the Fourth Series of ‘New WHO’ (i.e. the series revived by QUEER AS FOLK creator Russell T. Davies). If you count the original broadcasts, it is actually the 32nd series, but either way, the Doctor is once again ‘in’.

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DOCTOR WHO revolves around The Doctor – a renegade Time Lord from an ancient and powerful alien race who can travel through both time and space – who flits around the universe with various male and female human/humanoid companions solving intergalactic wrongs and adventures and fighting alien baddies so uncompromising in their terror (the bowel-emptyingly nightmarish Weeping Angels from last year’s episode ‘Blink’, for example) that more than one fan (myself included) has fond memories of watching the show from behind the sofa.

Ten actors to date have played the role on the small screen, with the latest – and in my opinion second-best only to the Fourth Doctor (Tom Baker) – being Scottish actor David Tennant. Tennant not only excels in the part but is also the first WHO actor I want to play hide-the-Sonic-Screwdriver with. This year sees various companions popping in and out, including returning Season 3 companion Martha Jones (Freema Argyeman) and gay/bisexual hottie Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman). The primary companion, however, is Donna Noble, played by the incomparable gay icon/comedienne Catherine Tate (of THE CATHERINE TATE SHOW, oddly enough as well as 2006’s WHO Xmas special). Tate is Season 4’s big draw card. She is alternately funny, dramatic, tragic and angry, a brilliant performance that gels perfectly with Tennant’s.

Amongst the adventures had by The Doctor and Donna this year are a fiery visit to ancient Pompeii, a murderous afternoon tea with Agatha Christie, a harrowing encounter in an unusually silent library and a stopover on the diamond planet ‘Midnight’ – which is probably the most terrifying DOCTOR WHO episode ever!

Being camper than The Doctor’s ruby converse shoes, Russell T. Davies never fails to include gay, lesbian or bisexual characters and situations in his episodes. As well as the aforementioned Captain Jack Harkness, Season 4 also features a major gay couple in the Agatha Christie episode, a key lesbian character to distract from the intangible terrors of ‘Midnight’, and some dodgy doings under a few togas in ‘The Fires of Pompeii’. The new series has also brought back several ‘Old School’ villains – the Daleks, the Cybermen, the Master – and this year the Sontarans (think really grumpy walking potatoes) get a 2008 makeover, and the main villain of the final two-part season finale hasn’t been seen on-screen since 1988 – his temper (and looks) haven’t improved much in two decades either!

Turn back time and watch it, but don’t blame me if ‘Midnight’ means you never ride a bus again!