This past weekend was a big one for footy fans with the West Coast Eagles coming off their premiership victory to face their nemesis, the perennial underdog Fremantle Dockers. OUTinPerth had two of WA’s biggest footy fans square off for some footy trash talk.
BEFORE THE GAME…
Introducing in the Dockers corner, Megan Jordan, fanatical fan and inexhaustible Eagle-taunter. Jordan’s “We Hate You†won her accolades from Dockerland and boos and hisses from Eagles supporters.
OiP: So far the Dockers are 0-2 going into the Derby, do you think they can pull out a consistent four quarter performance? Can they beat the Eagles? And what do you have to say to Eagles fans?
MJ: We might be 0-2 for the season but for the last 6 times we have played West Coast we are 6-0 which should give us a lot of confidence and have the Wet Toast shaking in their boots. They can win a Grand Final, but can’t beat their little brothers, which I’m sure must be very frustrating and embarrassing for them. As for the Dockers playing four quarters, it’s anybody’s guess. That’s what I love about Freo, they’re so unpredictable and spontaneous. Luckily the Eagles will be so nervous that we’ll be able to beat them with only 2 good quarters anyway.
Our biggest weakness is that the AFL tribunal has a vendetta against us and is trying to go for a record number of suspensions this season. So far they have done their best to give West Coast the advantage, but a champion team beats a team of champions every time. And we are the champion team in this state, no matter what the AFL ladder says..
To the Eagles fans I would like to say this: “It’s OK, don’t feel bad, there are 14 other teams in the competition who you can beatâ€Â.
And for the Eagles, Stephen McAllan steps into the ring. Stephen McAllan is a connoisseur of fit men in tight uniforms and an avid supporter of the Eagles.
OiP: What are the Eagles strengths? What is their biggest weakness?
SM: Their major strength is in the midfield, where the attack is great. Judd, Kerr and Daniel Chick (Mmmm! Daniel Chick…!) have a knack of coming out of nowhere and playing a solid keep-me-off game. If they can play this strategy after getting the ball away from Sandilands, they can dominate the day. The team’s biggest weakness, however, is their goal kicking accuracy. Lynch, for example, is a marvel to watch when he takes a mark (have you SEEN those arm and leg muscles during the slow motion playbacks??! Oh my baby Jesus…!); however, he sometimes can’t seem to handle the pressure of kicking directly into the goal mouth. Even I could kick straighter than some of those attempts! Ok, who am I kidding, I don’t even know how to hold a football, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking I could reach the goal from 60m out – especially after the couple of bottles of champers I’ve downed before half time!
OiP: What are your predictions for the big showdown? What would you like to say to Dockers fans?
SM: Eagles – definitely – by 10 points. I feel I should take the moral high ground, and not get into a verbal slinging match over who the better team is…. oh… what the hell… I think the Dockers fans are rather unsporting to say the least. How many times have they left the ground before the game was over when it has been inevitable their team was going to lose? And to ‘boo’ your own players! Really! Although, I’ll give the Dockers fans credit – they’re still going to turn up en masse following a 12 point loss to Essendon… (and they looked SO promising in the first half last week… what was it? 34 points ahead?) All that, and they wear purple, red and green – together…
AFTER THE GAME…
OiP: So, what happened on Saturday?
MJ: Luckily I’ve managed to pretty much block out the entire game, but I’m told we lost. It must be all part of the strategy to make our premiership more exciting by leaving our run a bit late.
OiP: Do you think the Dockers uniform color scheme (purple and green), has anything to do with their poor performance?
MJ: No. Copping abuse for wearing purple only makes the players tougher mentally. The next step is to find a company willing to make matching purple footy boots.
OiP: Last words for Eagles fans?
MJ: Enjoy the glory while you can, next time you play us we’ll be on the rampage and totally unstoppable.
Stephen McAllan felt it would be inappropriate to kick the Dockers as they reached an all-time new low and felt it best to keep the post-game talk short and simple: ‘GO the Eagles’!
For any remaining Dockers Fans: Megan Jordan’s band “Purple Mayhem†recently released a CD entitled “Real Men Wear Purple”. For a listen to Megan’s footy songs or to buy the album, check out www.realmenwearpurple.com. Alternatively, her music is available on www.myspace.com/purplemayhem.
