Crystal, ice, rock, speed, gear, bitch, glass, shabu, pop, tina – crystal methamphetamine has many guises, but whatever ruse it appears under, one thing remains true: it is one of the most addictive drugs commonly available in both our community and the wider community. For American author Terry Oldes, crystal meth addiction was a reality. In Dancing with Tina, Oldes candidly documents both his headfirst, breakneck descent into meth use and his painstaking recovery and rehabilitation from his year long addiction in April 2005.

Meth is a stimulant. It acts as a neurotransmitter and releases around 600 times the normal amount of dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin. These chemicals, in normal doses, make a person feel happy. In meth doses, they make a person feel invincible. What ensues is a heightened state of awareness as the body’s thirst, hunger and sleep functions shut down.

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‘Studies show that a small amount of meth will actually make you focus and score higher on an IQ test,’ Oldes said. But that’s only initially. Prolonged use results in severe weight loss, tooth decay, depression, possible psychosis and an array of other health problems. The need to feed the habit also becomes incredibly expensive, with debt and criminal activities a common occurrence.

‘I began doing meth to make up for something lacking within me,’ Oldes explained. Following the breakup of a relationship, ‘My self-esteem was at an all-time low and I had an unrealistic depression. When I did Meth I felt I was being put on a pedestal sexually, that men wanted to be with me and the drug took away all that baggage I had. In the end, of course, that’s a very shallow scenario, and I realize that now.

‘Meth is deceptive,’ added Oldes. ‘At first you can go, go, go, but as the abuse kicks in your priorities change. Your money goes towards the drugs. As you get more dependent, you want to do it more often, and eventually things fall apart. Meth makes you not care what you do.’

‘I don’t want to say meth changes a person,’ quipped Oldes, ‘but it certainly does help you act on those hidden desires. I’ve always said it could make Queen Victoria jump out of a cake at a bachelor party.’

Meth is currently responsible for an alarmingly high number of sexually transmitted diseases reported across the country. People are less likely to practice safe sex while on meth and are more likely to have multiple partners – the drug transforms even the most retiring wallflower into an obscene sex-crazed monster.

In February 2005 Oldes came as close to a mental and emotional meltdown as he believes he ever will. Paranoid delusions had kicked in, and he thought he was going to be raped, arrested or murdered. Voices called to him from within the ceiling. He could sense gas coming from the vents. The simple truth? He was doing far too many drugs.

‘The next morning I realized I was on my way to killing myself with meth. I knew it was my own responsibility and decided to take a stand.’

‘I decided to take it day by day and not worry about tomorrow,’ said Oldes of his recovery. ‘I just wanted to get through that one day and that is all I would think about. This may sound very simplistic, but my goal became a good night’s sleep and a very early morning walk afterwards. None of that happened on meth.’

The biggest piece of advice he has for those wanting to give up meth is to be honest, both to yourself and whoever you end up leaning on. ‘Lies get you nowhere. You are probably going to fall down a few times and if you do, admit it, analyze it and try again, but don’t lie. You’ve got to keep believing.’

The current media hype around meth is that it is becoming an epidemic – if not a pandemic – not only in the gay community but the wider community. But that’s not really the reality, added Oldes.

‘Crystal meth use is not an epidemic. We survived the AIDS crisis and we can survive this. For those who are caught in it, meth is a very serious thing and they need to be shown compassionate understanding.’

This book is a testament of such compassionate understanding. It neither glorifies nor plays down meth abuse. Instead, it is a matter of fact recount, neither too clinical nor too sympathetic, that tells it like it is with an integrity and honesty that make the story both more horrific and endearing to read.

Dancing with Tina is available now from Planet Books and Borders. If you or somebody you know is addicted to crystal methamphetamine and wants help to stop using, the Drug and Alcohol Office website (www.dao.health.wa.gov.au) is a portal to counseling and information resources. For direct counseling services, contact Cyrennian House on 9328 9200 or Narcotics Anonymous on 9227 8361.