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Couch Potato – November

HOT WEDGES!

BETTER OF TED (Mon Nov 16, Foxtel Comedy Channel- 5:30pm)
-Listen up, drones! Clever, geeky comedy about a scientific conglomeration that doesn’t let a little thing like ethics get in the way of amazing products the world never knew it needed, like cowless meat (which may or may not be made from people) or cryogenic chambers to freeze your not-so-loved ones. Gay actors aplenty (Australia actress Portia DeRossi- Mrs. Ellen- as icy boss Veronica; American actor Jonathan Slavin (HARD PILL) as Phil, who is ‘unfortunately afflicted with conscience’)

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THE RACHEL ZOE PROJECT (Tues Nov 16, Arena- 5:30pm)
-‘Stylist to the stars’ (including Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan and Mischa Barton) Rachel shares with us her secrets for keeping on the A-List. Based on her list of clients, I’d say a pre-frontal lobotomy and a non-stop diet of heroin and laxatives?!

STALE CHIPS!

SCRUBS (Tues Nov 24, Seven- 11:30pm)
-This malignant growth on the buttock of comedy has been misdiagnosed as a classic sitcom for far too long, in my opinion. Some improvement in the patient has been observed via the cuteness factor of lead actor Zach Braff (see attached memo regarding a hunkectomy procedure ) and several male cast having a suspiciously touchy ‘bromance’; but persistent symptoms of formulaic plots, a script that seems allergic to humour, and what appears to be a grossly swollen canned laugh track persist). Recommend euthanasia. Stat!

DHARMA AND GREG (Fri Nov 27, Ten-3:30pm)
-One of the worst shows I’ve ever seen, this tale of an uptight lawyer (Thomas Gibson- TALES OF THE CITY’s Beauchamp) who gets a dose of life via the ‘zany’ antics of hippie-chick Dharma (Jenna Elfman) is only slightly less funny than a global thermonuclear war. Gibson seems to be resisting the urge to vomit at all times, and Elfman confuses ‘zany’ with ‘forgot to take my Ritalin and anti-psychotics’ plus in real life, the actress has all the warmth of a Black Widow spider).

JUICY JACKETS!

MAN VS WILD (Mon Nov 30, SBS- 8:30pm)
-Interesting BBC/US natural history/anthropology series in which host Bear Grylls tests just how well the human body can cope with a wide array of environments- a baking desert, the frozen tundra, a raging river- when we’re stripped of our technological gizmos, cartographical guidebooks and various trinkets and doodads and just left with our own bodies and mental initiative (you can probably guess how well that usually turns out). Still, Grylls is nothing if not game, and throws himself off cliffs, down sinkholes and into quicksand with reckless abandon. The show has a large cult following amongst the gay community, due to the sexy Grylls, as well as abandoning technological gear when entering a harsh environs, also abandoning his clothes whenever he can – I mean I can understand stripping off to wade through a river, fine; stripping off in the snow to demonstrate hypothermia…okay; but stripping naked to break into a termite’s nest/climb a tree for honey/make an igloo?! Bear Grylls is like the MacGyver of nudity – if there’s a way for him to get his buns out on camera during an episode, he’ll find it….

***

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