HOT WEDGES!
DAVID CAMPBELL ON BROADWAY (Sat April 3, STVDIO- 5:30pm)
Australia’s number one Jazz/Blues/Song and Dance man (and number two ambiguously sexually preferenced celebrity after GOOD NEWS WEEK’S Paul McDermott) takes on New York’s famed theatrical district in this entertaining concert film, which shows both Campbell belting out the torch songs with aplomb and a behind-the-scenes, warts-and-all look at rehearsals and Campbell’s life that once again coyly shuffles around his orientation. David, you silver-tongued tease!
HISTORY OF THE DEVIL (Sat Apr 3, History Channel- 5:30pm)
Fascinating theological documentary that looks at the origins of the disturbingly literal hot and horny fiend and charts Old Nick’s development from a Pagan god and Abyssinian deity to (after a few centuries of legend-tinkering and mythology borrowing) Christian faith’s most diabolical denizen (outside of gay-funeral-picketer ‘Reverend’ Fred Phelps, anyway) to his current incarnation as a horror-movie stalwart (with everyone from Robert DeNiro and Bill Cosby to Liz Hurley playing him/her).
LE JEUNE FILLE ET LES LOUPS (THE MAIDEN AND THE WOLVES) (Sun April 4, SBS- 11:10pm)
Dramatises the true story of a peasant-turned-first-female-veterinarian-in-Europe. Just after World War I she becomes determined to save the increasingly endangered (due to hunting and trapping) wolves of the French Alpine forests; Whilst she campaigns to bring the wolves back from near-extinction, she finds herself falling for a beautiful, strange young man who lives near the pack. Great film, which has inspired me, as a fellow wolf-fancier, to move to Hollywood and save TWILIGHT’s Taylor Lautner from his virginity…
THE FABULOUS STORY OF POOP (Sat Apr 10, SBS-5:30pm)
Finally a TV show that admits it’s a load of crap! This Documentary tells you absolutely everything you’ve ever wanted to know about sewage, the human digestive system, and human excrement- whether you want it to or not. Tonight’s episode, ‘The Revolution of the Throne’ looks at the history of the toilet- from ancient, Palaeolithic models which prove cavemen did indeed know the difference between their arse and a hole in the ground, to the infamous Australian outhouse, which served less a bathroom and more of an impromptu Red-Back sanctuary, to state of the art C21st Japanese robotic models which pre-warm the seat, analyse the contents of your poop and automatically order more toilet paper for you from the internet. Perfect dinnertime viewing!
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE (Wed Apr 14m ABC)
Series 2 of this excellent comedy/drama based on the memoirs of Gay fashionista Simon Doonan about a British tweenager growing up Gay in the Eighties, with his equally fey best friend Kyle (who insists it’s prounced ‘Kylie’). At least the chances of an American remake are about as likely as Tom Cruise wanting to play the lead…
STALE CHIPS
COUGAR TOWN (Thurs Apr 22, Seven-8:30pm)
Possibly worth sitting through for the sheer amount of hot and semi-nude male flesh on display each week (somebody call the Guinness Book of World Records!) this execrable American sitcom stars Botox poster child/former FRIEND Courtney Cox as a forty-something career gal with an eye for much younger men. Cox is so leathery and unhealthily underweight these days that DEAD-LEAF MIMICKING STICK INSECT TOWN would be a more appropriate title…
GILLIGAN’S ISLAND (Sun Apr 25, Nine- 11am)
Only three of the original seven castaways from this mid-Sixties TV show have avoided being rescued from the Island of the Dead by the Grim Reaper- it might be time to put something more current on. Also- how come the Professor can make a particle-beam accelerator out of coconuts and fish bones, but can’t fix a hole in a boat or make a big sign that says ‘HELP WE ARE MAROONED’?!
JUICY JACKETS!
DOLLHOUSE (Thurs Apr 29, FOX8- 6:30pm)
Joss Whedon (BUFFY, ANGEL, FIREFLY) is a brilliant writer, capable of wringing laughter, tears and adrenaline out of his audience with a few strokes of a pen (mind you, George Lucas can do the same thing, but he uses his powers for evil. And retconning). Even the most hardcore Whedon fan, however, acknowledges that he views the words ‘Love’, ‘Sex’ and ‘Romance’ with about the same enthusiasm as the words ‘Invasive’, ‘Dental’ and ‘Smallpox’. DOLLHOUSE takes Joss’ oddly dim view of courtship (fun booze game- watch BUFFY and drink every time a relationship ends horribly; you’ll need a liver transplant by the second season) to its ultimate conclusion and presents a dystopian world in which everyone who is interested in forming a relationship with our heroes turns out to have an ulterior motive that has less to do with Cupid and more to do with Hades (no, I’m not explaining that one- just watch CLASH OF THE TITANS, you’ll understand). DOLLHOUSE presents us with a shadowy government (?) organisation that specialises in creating ‘Dolls’- people who are quite literally blank slates- their individual personalities are suppressed with hypnotherapy, drugs and technology until they have no free will or character traits of their own- at which point the ‘Dolls’ are hired out to customers to have an identity implanted on them for some specific job, which is then immediately mind-wiped from them at the conclusion. Sounds interesting in a Matrix-y way, and it could have been, if the ‘Dolls’, lead by Eliza Dushku as Echo and Tahmoh Penikket as Paul, were hired out for reasons other than sex. Think of the possibilities of a human being who can learn any skill in seconds and adopt any personality of any living or dead person- you could have one find the cure for cancer, or enable faster than light travel, or even have dinner with say, Jesus Christ. But no- every single client at the Dollhouse ends up using them for sex and is exposed as a nefarious pervert. The shadowy institute could save a fortune in mind-altering drugs each week by just taking clients to a Brothel next door to a Halloween costume shop. Grrls who fell for Dushku’s bad-girl Faith in BUFFY, however, will love Eliza Dushku as Echo-she still delivers every line she has in the same sultry purr, regardless of context, and her wardrobe seems to consist solely of tight white tank-tops…
Gavin Pitts
