HOT POTATOES!
BATTERED MEN (Mon March 16, CI Network-5:30pm)– 3 out of every 10 domestic abuse situations involve a man being assaulted by his partner (female or male)- and yet these incidents are seldom reported and even more seldom seriously investigated (one man, going to the police after his wife poured boiling water on him was told ‘go home and sort it out like a man’). Eye- opening program looking at a topic still markedly hidden.
MONTGOMERY CLIFT (Thurs March 19, Foxtel- 7:30pm)– Excellent bio/documentary about brilliant and breath-takingly beautiful 1950’s actor Clift, a close friend of Elizabeth Taylor and James Dean who was tormented by his homosexuality. His distaste for his own sexual preference led to an alcohol problem and a resultant near-fatal car crash (Taylor saved his life by stopping him from choking to death) in which his gorgeous face was badly disfigured. Clift never really recovered from the accident and died at the age of 45. Still revered for his beauty and sad, short life, Clift is an acting legend. Actor Kerr Smith (DAWSON’S CREEK), who greatly resembles Clift, is said to be keen to star in a biopic movie.
GLOBAL VILLAGE (Fri March 20, SBS- 6pm)– Excellent series hosted by Silvio Riviere which visits a different, interesting port of call each episode. You’re watching a bunch of inebriated tourists getting ready to be gored and trampled by bulls in Pamplona one moment and getting the recipe for the world’s most decadent cheesecake in a little back-alley bakery in Venice the next. Spray yourself with Travel-Bug repellant before watching, or you’ll be packing your bags within the hour…
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STALE CHIPS!
GOOD NEWS WEEK (Mon March 30, Ten-8:30pm)– Ambisextrous host Paul McDermott is a diminutive dreamboat as always, but this once hilarious current affairs/game show has gone from Pulitzer Perfection to Tabloid Trash, largely thanks to Channel Ten’s typical sledgehammer-subtle approach, and keeping on amazingly unfunny panelist Mikey Robbins but dumping awesome dykon Julie McCrossin…
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (Mon March 30, Seven- 8:30pm)– Like numerous shows before it, DH has fallen victim to Suckless Single Season Syndrome, when a program starts off fantastically with its debut and then gets progressively worse with each year (other victims include SMALLVILLE, HEROES and THE OC). The first year of DH was fantastic, but has degenerated into various Botox-abusing actresses devouring the scenery with relish (and nothing else- all the characters have the metabolisms of stick insects). Plus the gay characters are very tokenistic- when they’re onscreen at all. Take it into the pool house and shoot it, already!
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SAUCY SPUDS!
UNDERBELLY 2 (Monday March 30, Nine-8:30pm)– I tend to avoid gangster movies and TV- they’re just too hyper-macho for me. I’ve still not seen the GODFATHER films and I look forward to viewing any gangster program like characters in them look forward to getting a horse’s head in their futon. So I was quite annoyed when Nine made me an offer I couldn’t refuse and cast one of my favourite actors/lust objects, Callan Mulvey (RUSH), in their Oz Mob miniseries UNDERBELLY and its sequel- *and* gave him a gratuitous nude scene. Just when I think I’m out, Callan pulls me back in!!
BATMAN- THE BRAVE & THE BOLD (Sat March 28, Nine- 9am)– Cartoon series featuring the Dark Knight that’s not as good as the classic Nineties’ BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES but far superior to the Emo-Bat from the Noughties’ THE BATMAN. You know that a series has a seriously homoerotic vibe when even your straight mates are picking up on it, and the Sapphic suspense between homicidal herbologist Pamela Isley/Poison Ivy (a villainess whom is determined to save Earth’s plant-life- at the expense of its animal life) and the Joker’s henchwoman/girlfriend Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn- is so thick you could cut it with a Batarang. Only since Harley’s dating the Clown Prince of Crime and Pamela is so full of botanical poisons that her kiss makes her a literal man-killer, I hope both grrrls play safe!!
