HOT WEDGES!
CURIOUS AND UNUSUAL DEATHS (Thurs Jun 3, Crime & Investigation Network- 7pm)
Fascinating Forensic documentary that shows the Grim Reaper may have a serious job but he’s not above trading in the scythe and hourglass for a rubber chicken and hand-buzzer every now and then. The show looks at people who have shuffled off this mortal coil in bizarre, coincidental, weird and just plain embarrassing circumstances- from a bible salesman struck by lightning on a cloudless day, a man who died of exhaustion after laughing continuously at a joke for almost a half hour (clearly he wasn’t watching HEY HEY IT’S SATURDAY), to the Ancient Greek philosopher Aeschylus, who died when an eagle dropped a tortoise on his head and whiskey maker Jack Daniels, who died after kicking his safe when he forgot the combination, the program brings a much needed sense of slapstick to a very serious subject.
WEREWOLVES: THE DARK SURVIVORS (Fri June 4, ABC2- 8:30pm)
In the style of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY and INCIDENT AT LOCH NESS -which purport that the fantastic events playing out onscreen are all happening live and in real time- comes this clever little ‘mockumentary’ in which real life presenters from the American Animal Planet/BBC Natural History Unit filming a documentary on wolf packs find themselves up to their full moons in a skirmish between two rival groups of werewolves, some of which are quite happy to talk to the naturalists, others who want to devour the filmmakers to keep their hairy secret safe. Though we never get something as awesome as Sir David Attenborough lecturing to camera about the mating habits of TWILIGHT’s Jacob Black, this is still a smart and sexy production filled with lots of lustful lycanthropes of either gender and the ‘reality’ aspect will probably have less-savvy viewers smelting down their grandma’s silverware into bullets and crouching fearfully in the attic…
JFK’S WOMEN (Fri Jun 11, SBS2- 7pm)
Interesting documentary looking at America’s most beloved President and his most ill-concealed vice- extramarital affairs with a veritable armada of women, most famously Marilyn Monroe. Apparently the Secret Service suspected something was up when JFK insisted on polling his constituents personally, and dropping one of the ‘l’s in ‘Polling’…
10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (Sun Jun 13, FOX8- 5:30pm)
Question: How do you make a successful weekly series out of a movie that is a] fairly old (1999) and not that great in the first place (it was a fairly underwhelming comedy that dares to ‘update’ Shakespeare’s TAMING OF THE SHREW), but b] starred late, gifted Aussie actor Heath Ledger in a main role, without offending fans by recasting his part? Well if you’re this series, you make the smart move of recasting the part with a family relative of another famed acting icon- Ethan Peck, grandson of Gregory. Well played, writers! Now if only you could figure out how to stop Shakespeare’s enraged ghost from haunting the set…can you blame him?!
STALE CHIPS
DANCE ACADEMY (Mon Jun 14, ABC- 5:20pm)
This series about a bunch of late-teenaged gymnasts facing hardships both on the pommel horse and pulmonary fronts seem to occupy the same strange alternate reality as GLEE and the recent remake of FAME, in which male ballet dancers are all relentlessly heterosexual skirt-chasers and not even one of the Neo-Nureyevs wants to help his fellow male dancers with the bulges in their tutus. I’m sure I’m not the only one who was scanning this obvious parallel Earth for talking chimpanzees, war-winning Nazis or present-day dinosaurs…
MAN VS FISH (Tues Jun 15, Discovery Channel-6:30pm)
At a time when global fish numbers are plummeting to such alarmingly low levels that marine biologists warn the seas will be empty of edible fish by 2050, is it really a good idea to air a show about how awesome and macho fishing is? Especially when one of the hosts lands a critically endangered Blue-Fin Tuna, now down to only a few hundred in number? This show is the equivalent of Freddy Krueger holding an international symposium on childhood bedwetting!
JUICY JACKETS!
KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST (Fri Jun 18, Arena, 7:30pm)
Series 5 of the comedic reality series which chronicles the American comedienne’s continued attempt to break into the coveted Hollywood A-List (or at least play a corpse on a B-list show like CSI). The ginger juggernaut may still be ‘losing the battle against fame and fortune’, but certainly isn’t resting on her red laurels. Series 5 sees Griffin getting a cameo on the crime show NCIS as a bisexual teacher, who gets to kiss both the male and female series leads (guess which snog the American networks ‘cut for time’?!); tries to get her 88-year old mother to start a Kathy Griffin Facebook fan page with about as much technological know-how as an Amish community, and hangs out with guest stars Betty White, Rosie O’Donnell, Lily Tomlin, Barry Manilow and Bette Midler as she goes door to door trying to canvass support to fight against California’s Homophobic anti-gay Marriage laws. The effervescent and hugely funny Griffin may not be A-List yet, but she’s at least earned her Gay Icon stripes, I reckon!
SPUDS IN SPACE!
MISFITS (Mon Jun 28, ABC 2- 9:30pm)
A British series which starts with a bunch of loud-mouthed, Chav teens being collectively struck by lightning may sound like a plot from a forensically challenging episode of WIRE IN THE BLOOD (or a particularly disturbing episode of THE FAMOUS FIVE) but it’s actually the kick-off point for a new BBC sci-fi/comedy series that amazingly enough, doesn’t have a blue police box or shouting, conquest-minded pepper pots anywhere in sight. MISFITS sees the aforementioned gang of teen dropouts and petty criminals forced to work in Community Service and get caught in a huge and bizarre electrical storm- whilst they are cleaning up aluminium cans in a stainless steel skipper bin (surely the equivalent of going shark-spotting whilst covered in fish entrails or going to a Gay bar and announcing you can’t stand SEX & THE CITY). This new team of delinquent demigods now goes out to fight exactly the sort of crime that got them into trouble in the first place, with only their court-appointed social worker stopping them from abusing their powers. Well, mostly…
Gavin Pitts
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