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A Yank's Take on Australian Football

The first season I played Aussie Rules it happened on an almost weekly basis. Someone looked at me as though they had just taken a mark in the face and asked, ‘Where are you from?’ You see, I have this American accent that I can’t quite shake. I also have this love of Australian football. And after 3 seasons learning the difference between gridiron (what most Americans just call football) and AFL, I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to represent Western Australia at the AFL Women’s National Championships in Canberra from July 9-14. Upon returning, I thought I should share with OUTinPerth this Yank’s game by game education.

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Game #1 – WA v. VIC

It was the game we had been talking about for months of training. Every extra bit of running – our coach would scream – was to ensure that we were fitter and stronger than the Victorians. When we got a sheet listing the different attributes of each team, Victoria was at least 3 times as long as any of the other squads. And for good reason, Victoria has won every national championship since they began in 1991. Not surprisingly, we were a jittery bunch of nerves, as twitchy as a horse waiting to be let out of the holding stall. When the game finally got underway, we fought Victoria evenly. With just minutes to go the score was even. Then … the Victorians kicked the ball quickly inside the fullback line. As it turned out, I was the fullback in a footrace to the ball. I made it to the ball first… and then past it. I overran the pickup and wound up tangling with a Victorian. I managed to get a kick off, albeit one that was slightly misdirected and bounced off the head of my teammate . She recovered quickly, but in a slightly daunted state, handballed back inside to me. Eventually Victoria worked the ball inside and scored the winning goal.

Lesson: Never ever overrun the ball. And for god’s sake, if you over run the ball, don’t handball inside if you are in your defending 50.

Game #2 – WA v. ACT

Despite losing to Victoria, our squad had gained a lot of confidence. Last year’s state team had been national runners up, but had still lost to Victoria by 22 goals. While they had bested us the first round, we had started to really believe that we could compete with them. Turning to face ACT, we had something of a complacent start, but after a couple of goals from them, we realized that we needed the same intensity we had against the Vics. We lifted our game, hit and ran harder at the contest and turned things around.

Lesson: Never underestimate an opponent.

Game #3 – WA v. ADF

ADF doesn’t usually come out on top of the scoreboard, but they almost always give their opponent a few bruises to remember them by. Our game against them was no exception. We were in control of the game from the very start as far as the score was concerned, but after the game, we were still feeling ADF’s effects as the team torturer, er, I mean physio forced us into an ice cold pool.

Lesson: Don’t insult an ADF player, unless you know you can outrun them.

Game #4 – WA v. QLD

With our loss to Victoria, this was an important game. Queensland had defeated WA in 2006 and a loss to them now would seriously jeopardize our shot at the grand finals. Though the game was close, we led most of the way, with some superb running through our midfield to prevent Queensland from playing their game of long kicks and strong marks.

Lesson: In a battle to survive cold climes, the Sandgropers have the edge over Banana Benders.

Game #5 – WA v. SA

Coming off Queensland, we were in a great spot to make the finals. The team started to look ahead and perhaps overlooked the game at hand. After going down 2 goals to South Australia, we pulled our head out of the (rather frozen) ground and tightened down. We marked up tighter on our players and added a bit of focus to our kicks and marks. It all came together in the second half and we moved one game closer to making the finals.

Lesson: Just because they are from Adelaide, doesn’t mean they can’t kick.

Game #6 – WA v. NSW

In baby blue jumpers, the Sydney-siders may have had the best looking colour combo (in my opinion), but unfortunately, this wasn’t a fashion show. And the yellow and black-clad WA Swannies proved the stronger side. Now all that remained was to beat the Victorian Under 19s…

Lesson: There are no fashion statements in football.

Game #7 – WA v. VIC U19

The VIC U19 had lost two games before meeting us. With Queensland’s loss to the ACT, we would sew up second place with a win against the wee Vic-ettes. That was no easy task, however, as they were a side that had played the senior Vics to within a few points. And with some of Australia’s brightest rising stars and a teamful of young legs, they were gunning to have another chance. However, we had become a stronger side over 6 games.  With disciplined defensive play across the field, we held the Vics to just a single point. We were ready for the big ones.

Lesson: Discipline, discipline, discipline. Or as our coach puts it after a team mental lapse ‘DISCIPLINE!!!!’ Imagine eyes bulging and scary voice, for full effect.

Game #8 – WA v. VIC

This was the grand final. However, our goal was not just to make the grand final, it was to win. And from what I gathered from conversations with veteran state players, this was the first time we genuinely believed we could. We got the first goal and the roar of the crowd told us that most people there were , in Aussie style, cheering for the underdogs. Unfortunately, the Vics came out fired up in the second half and their kicks were spot on. By the end of the game, they had run up an 8 goal margin, though the game felt much closer than that for the majority of it.

Lesson: Win or lose, footy means drink. Of course, the real lesson for an American is never try to drink with Australians – the Yank liver is, like Canberra’s weather, clearly inferior.

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