Even at my young age it has come to my attention that everyone, every day, every minute goes through their own struggles. It is inevitable that people will judge you in life, it is inherently built into human beings, however it isn’t always considered that even the slightest stereotyping can affect a person’s whole life. I have realised that the world of lesbians is very misunderstood and misjudged, not only in the heterosexual community but the homosexual community too.
Even when I was first introduced to this whole other world, I was under the impression that to be a lesbian you needed to be ‘boyish’, the stereotypical image; short hair, tatts, piercings, over-sized clothes and no bras! I felt a need to conform to this image to reassure my place in this world because of a fear of not being accepted if I didn’t.
It wasn’t until I discovered the diversity and individualism in this community that I realised that being with someone of the same sex doesn’t require you to look and act a specific way. 
Conforming to an image to feel accepted and is a mind-game that you play with yourself. It is driven purely by fear.
You portray an image of yourself to the world only because it’s what you think they want to see not because it’s who you truly are. When you’ve been shopping, have you every stopped to think about why you’re buying those specific items? What image are you trying to portray about yourself?
As I learnt about the diversity in lesbianism, I realised that many people in society are probably unaware that there are three stereotypical categories of a lesbian image, with individuals typecast in one area or spanning across numerous levels. These three areas are lipstick lesbians, chapstick lesbians and butches.
A lipstick lesbian, as the name suggests, is a very feminine lesbian. A woman that perhaps at first glance wouldn’t stereotypically fit into the image of a lesbian as they might have long hair, wear make-up, dress girly and prance around in ridiculously large high heels. Although these lesbians may not receive the traditional derogatory threats from society, such as ‘bull dyke’ or be beaten up because of their butch appearance, they still have issues to deal with. Claims that the person is too ‘girly’ to be gay or that it’s just a ‘straight girl’ phase and eventually they’ll go back to boys, can create self doubt or diminish any self-worth.
What you say to someone could force them to conform to an image or go into a relationship that they aren’t happy in just because harsh words have made them question themselves. Even if someone is really girly or does end up going back to a male partner, why does it have to be a negative thing? 
A butch or dyke is your ‘traditional’ looking lesbian and in many people’s eyes this image goes hand in hand with past-times such as fixing car engines and changing car tyres for the damsels in distress or playing softball and women’s football. Scary stories, of people being beaten up, bottled and sexually abused frequently said to have happened to these individuals because they can be stereotyped at first glance.
A chapstick lesbian is half way between the two, with perhaps a more androgynous image. This is where many lesbians would probably class themselves as it provides leeway for being feminine but associated with queer society at first glance.
One person can vary between one or more areas or be comfortable in just one. I have come to learn that it doesn’t matter which area you fall into or what you are attracted to, you shouldn’t feel a need to be placed in only one area if you’re not feeling true to yourself.
It is with this knowledge that I can both accept myself and the different communities within my life without feeling a need to exclude or be prejudiced. I do not feel a need to dress like others nor judge the way that other people dress and act. Instead I embrace it and incorporate a diverse range of people from all walks of life into my world. It is your choice how you are going to perceive someone in your life. If you have already pre-judged what someone is like then of course they will end up being exactly that image to you because you haven’t allowed them to be any different. Next time you see someone that you automatically judge, take a minute to realise that they may be the way they are to fit in because they fear what others will think or maybe because they don’t know any different.
I have set out to bring an awareness of the diversity in the lesbian world, just as I’m sure there is diversity in all misunderstood worlds. Creating awareness and a greater understanding is key to reducing discrimination against gay women and self doubt within the scene of lesbianism. I hope that everyone can realise that self-acceptance is the first step to bringing acceptance to the world around us.
Jae West
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