Altiyan Childs
Self-Titled
Sony Music
X-Factor winners are kind of like ex-boyfriends: it was fun while it lasted, but when it’s over you just really want them to disappear. Sure, Altiyan had some appeal during the course of the show: his kooky cave-dwelling antics, his bromance with Ronan Keating and his uncanny resemblance to Animal from the Muppets – but now the show is over are we really expected to take this AM radio stocking-filler seriously? Apart from the limp single Somewhere in the World, the album is a doppelganger-land of karaoke covers ranging from cheesy to uncomfortably cheesy. I’m pretty sure covering Bon Jovi and Bryan Adams on the same record is a criminal offence of some kind. If not it should be. – Andrew Searle
Duffy
Endlessly
Mecury / Universal
After finally pulling myself away from looking at the front cover, I realized I wasn’t going to care what she sounded like as she is a babe, but I’m going to be honest and say I believe she is Amy Winehouse without the train wreck. She’s just what Brits like in an R&B singer; a pretty girl who loves stately soul ballads. But where Winehouse’s singing grabs you by the lapels, Duffy’s feels affectless. Her ballads and neo-disco songs are steeped in lovelorn melodrama, but her bland persona doesn’t give the storms life. Two years ago, Duffy had us begging her for mercy, but after 10 tracks of Endlessly, I was just begging her to stop. – DJ Cinnamon
Various
Burlesque Soundtrack
RCA/Sony Music
If you can think of a more camp scenario than Cher and Christina Aguilera belting out a collection of brassy 1940’s cabaret style tunes – I applaud you. This soundtrack takes the term ‘guilty pleasure’ to new heights. Vocally, both Aggy and Cher have never been in better shape. Sure, Xtina has a tendency to over-sing, but I don’t think subtlety was what she was aiming for here. Highlights include two Etta James covers, the shamelessly camp But I am a Good Girl and Cher belting out a Dianne Warren penned power ballad. And if you don’t like it, you’d better suck it up because this is set to be a drag-show fodder for the next century or so. – Andrew Searle
The Black Eyed Peas
The Beginning
Interscope / Universal
I wish I could say that I had the time of my life listening to this album and I owe it all to the Black eyed Peas but I’m afraid that’s a negative. Where is the fresh group that jumped on the music scene all those moons ago with ‘Where is the Love†is, I’m not sure? Maybe it’s a matter of taste, but to me this album is over sampled (they actually have a knack of destroying some really great songs), overproduced and the amount of autotune made me shudder with dismay. With a much more dancier electronic vibe than their previous albums I am sure this one will pump out the hits – here’s hoping for some killer remixes that give the songs some much needed edge! – DJ Cinnamon
Ciara
Basic Instinct
LaFace Records/Sony Music
Ciara might be a superstar in the US, but since 1, 2 Step and Goodies back in 2004, she’s largely failed to connect with Aussie audiences. Basic Instinct, Ciara’s fourth LP, is loud, fast paced and by no means terrible – but doesn’t look set to break the trend. Each track blips with euro-synth and hyperactive beats like it’s trying to prove it’s the next big club banger – but between the passive melodies, Janet-cum-Brandy paper-thin vocals, and disposable-sex-robot lyrics the tracks largely fail to convince. There are a couple of exceptions – the aggressive opener Basic Instinct has enough swagger to incite some booty shaking, and the single Ride gets sexier with every listen. – Andrew Searle
Grace Woodroofe
Always Want
Universal
Grace Woodroofe is my kind of woman. Full of husky tones and heavy, lingering vocals, Woodroofe’s debut release Always Want is the twirling cigarette smoke in a film noir movie. For the most part, a slower tempo carries Woodroofe along, guided by a pulsating bass line. Transformer shakes up the record early on, lyrically hypnotic. The 20-year-old songstress wrote the entire album and composed most of the music which is a true credit to the WA musician. Woodroofe is delicate but somehow dangerous like a femme fatale dreamed up by Hitchcock. – Benn Dorrington
The Dirty Heads
Any Port in a Storm
Five Seven Music /Sony Music
If you’re old enough to recall the mid-90s, and the name Sugar Ray or Sublime ring a bell, you’ll have a pretty good idea of the reggae-tinged pop-rock on offer here. On their debut LP, The Dirty Heads combine a typically California-beach sound with nice-guy lyrics and breezy harmonies. At worst, The Dirty Heads come across a little self-help-book preachy. Their summery sound works best on the laid-back acoustic tracks such as Morning Light and Insomnia which recall John Butler Trio or Jack Johnson. While the record isn’t particularly groundbreaking, The Dirty Heads sound like the type of well-mannered hippie stoner boys you wouldn’t mind spending a day in the sun with. – Andrew Searle
