UGLY BETTY (Sun March 18, Seven- 8:30pm)
-Smash hit cult program in which a smart, funny- but plain- girl becomes the assistant to a super-hunky guy who runs a massively successful fashion label, it features superficial skeletons in size zero, catty queer models and designers, and hunky guys aplenty, including studmuffin Eric Mabius (CRUEL INTENTIONS, RESIDENT EVIL).
SUPERNATURAL (Mon March 19, Ten- 8:30pm)
-Another new season! I have a supernatural feeling the ratings period is upon us! SUPERNATURAL continues the adventures of two hunky brothers, Sam (Jared Padelecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) as they slaughter, fry and shish-kebob inhuman monsters across the USA. Wait until you see how batty and queer Sammy gets midway through the series when he’s possessed by an evil, *female* demon…
THE SIMPSONS (Tues March 20, Ten- 7:30pm)
-Ten’s finally broken through Mr Burns’ Titanium vault and gotten their hands on new episodes! We no longer have to watch endlessly looped episodes of season 1! To quote Principal Skinner: ‘Has the world gone topsy-turvy?!!’
LOST (Thurs March 22, Seven- 8:30pm)
-Season three of the excellent series about 42 (and dropping) survivors of a plane crash on a tropical island which is home to a vast, hidden experiment, a roving monster we have still not had a good look at, some very angry (and equally lost!) polar bears- and a sinister cabal of people there before the crash, known as ‘The Others’. Still no replacement gay characters after the deaths of Boone (Ian Somerhalder) and Ana-Lucia in Seasons 1 and 2 respectively. I love my dead, gay Boone!
PLANET EARTH (Sun March 25, ABC-8pm)
-New episodes of the phenomenal natural history series with perennial BBC nature narrator, Sir David Attenborough. Watch it before we heat the planet enough to systematically wipe out every animal featured on the program…