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Lezzon 9: How to get picked up (literally)

DSC_0185It recently dawned on me that I have never actually dated. Having only had two girlfriends in my 31 years, I most certainly have courted, but in both instances I was familiar with the lady before the relationship began.

Truth be told, my only experience with lesbian dating thus far has been via a British publication by the name of Diva. I took a copy on my summer vacation to Spain a few years back and spent the holiday reading out the personal ads with friends. What struck me was the overwhelming number of lesbians who professed to like nights in and out, cats and bushwalking. The percentages were off the Richter.

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It made me wonder if these interests were in fact some sort of lesbian code. I mean, bushwalking and cats – doesn’t take a genius. However, there were two ads that really struck a chord. The first was a bi-curious woman in her 50s who, like the majority, enjoyed natural landscapes and felines. But her ad conclusion was most peculiar. “Seeking a woman 40-60 with similar interests. Must have own car.” Must have own car? This woman wasn’t so much looking for a life partner as she was a lift.

The second lady who peaked my interest professed to be a fat, unattractive lesbian who liked to sit on the couch and be antisocial. She was seeking the same to have absolutely no fun with whatsoever. GSOH for sure, I thought to myself.

But I digress. Now that I’m back in Australia and flying solo again there seems only two viable ways lesbians can advertise their person: the Pink Sofa and

speed dating. For a short time we also had the female equivalent of Grindr, Qrushr, but that didn’t last long and frankly I’m not surprised. Wanting to be attuned to all things gay I decided to check Qrushr out for myself. Signing up with a pal of mine, we were quite chuffed with our user names, Hello Clitty and Kate Bush. Unfortunately for Bush and Clitty the closest online lesbians were 3500kms away. In Melbourne.

I don’t know why the lesbian App didn’t take off in WA but now I’m left sitting in front of my computer staring at the Sofa. Username? Well, Sadie Spade seems a good place to start.

Sadie Spade

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