This one’s a gem… seems a certain glamourous gal – the kind you certainly would take home to meet your mOther – was so dressed to the nines that she was… well, breathtaking! But what was keeping her together? Had she been poured into that outfit? Was it all held together with sticky tape? Or was it an illusion, a mere trick of shiny surfaces? None of the above – turns out she was held together by bobby pins! Yes, when this certain Miss hit a certain party she decided to relax, have a(nother) well deserved sip of champagne and pull out her bobby pins – pop, off she went, passing out on the floor. Glamourous. Truly glamourous. Tea anyone?

A bree-ze of relative nor-mal-acy returns to The Court Hotel after they did mega lines on Pride night. No… not that kinda of mega line! mOther means the one that stretched all the way to the top of the stairs in the Perth Cultural Centre. Kudos goes to Bree for getting out there and dealing with her patrons in a most fabulous manner.

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A pale shadow of a drag seemed to be mimicking a mentor and decided to frock out on the weekend in a gown made famous by a fabulous movie star, but to be honest she looked like she was trying to be a far more glam local columnist. Even the hair was similar folks! The imitation… or rather ‘baby’ drag… was literally poured into her outfit, so much so that when she ‘danced’ she could do little more than give the impression of a very sad and very pathetic sprinkler sashaying from side to side. Dear oh dear… can someone wipe her up please (or get her a paper bag). Hmmm… maybe she’s born with it?! Ha! Definitely not!

What was Veruka Salt wearing during the Parade? No, seriously… what was she wearing? It looked like Big Bird had vomited on her. Either that or she’d just finished impersonating a dunny brush dolly. Either way, congratulations on winning Queen of The Court, Salty! Time to start running with the big girls now! Or should that be ‘start running from’…?

And speaking of baby drags at The Court: amateur drag returns every Wednesday night. Come on baby drags, it’s time to show us what you’re made of! Log on to Facebook and join the ‘Amateur Drag Night @ The Court’ group so you can keep abreast of what’s happening and who just ain’t. Oh – and if anyone knows who the drag king was that did a spectacular Marilyn Manson number the other week can you ask them to contact mOther by email (mother@www.outinperth.com) because I heard you were amazing and I only like amazing things.

Which Pride committee member appeared on Channel 9 post Pride Parade looking… hmmm, a little worn? That’s a nice way of putting it really isn’t it. A little worn… haggard would’ve been more accurate. Trashed? Spot on. We have the footage. It’s electra-fying!

Trick is the one stop party place on any given Thursday night. Check it out at Geisha as they bring together old skool cool with nu skool charm. The result is fun and sophisticated, the kind of place that isn’t too in your face.

We will fight them on the beaches… Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. Classy lady. In a scene from Little Britain meets Drag Queens Gone Wrong, dear old Sandy (one of my favourite queens because she doesn’t take herself seriously at all – take note made up make up sticks) decided she was allergic to something while partying the night away at The Court and puked her dear little ass up quite spectacularly! Oh Sandy, almost as good as the YouTube video of you on the toilet!

Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Yes, get your yearn on Roman urns as Connections Nightclub step back in time… really far back in time… for a Toga Party the likes of which you wouldn’t have seen this side of an American Frat house circa the 1980s. This big gay sheet party happens on Saturday November 15 so don’t rest on your laurels… wear one on your head! Roam in to Connections as they deck out the places with pillars, ancient gods and goddesses and the quintessential keystone to any toga party: THE KEG! Yes: toga, toga toga… party, at Connections Nightclub.

What’s the deal with a certain Asian sensation? There she is, all billed to go on and the next thing you know she’s partying the night away elsewhere. What happened? Turns out she was such a sniffle that she was incapable of answering her phone so that when a certain someone rang and couldn’t get through to her – well, sorry, no show for you honey. A shame… we would have liked to have known what her name was. Will she return to make connections again? What will happen to The Glamour Addicts? Rehab perhaps…?

ZOO – we love you! As if the campest place in town couldn’t possibly get any camper well, guess what… they do! Watch out for ZOO Superpower Collector Cards out and about. Yes, they double as free entry passes but they are also so funny that they deserve to be kept. Don’t believe me? Well get out there and get hunting and find yourself a whole set because these little doozies just made this place all that more cool. ZOO happens every Sunday at Bar Open, with entry via the back alley. Check it out!

And this is one we haven’t heard the end of… guess which OiP little thing won the award for Best Drag at this years Pride Parade. Yeah, eat that girls – our resident princess swooped the award dressed as the Queen of Hearts. Well done Emma Rhoids, well done. Huh… apt name… for a pain in the ass!

Got gossip? Know of someone misbehaving? Wanna push your own notoriety? Then why not write to me, little one – yes, confide in mOther. Let her make you a star. Let her help you spread that wonderful gossip. Go on – dish. Write to me know at mother@www.outinperth.com – I’m waiting!

In the meantime, do as your mOther told you and be little terriers!

Lots of (ugh) love,

mOther

xoxoxoxoxo