TASTY TATIES!
ICONOCLASTS: EDDIE VEDDER & LAIRD HAMILTON (Wed Oct 1, ABC2-9:20pm)
This new series examines unusual friendships between various celebrity folks, and tonight examines the ‘Bromance’ (i.e. an intense yet allegedly non-sexual friendship between two men – I stress allegedly because JC Chasez and Chace Crawford have a Bromance going, and they’re totally doing it!) between Pearl Jam lead singer/hottie/environmentalist/dictionary definition perfect guy Eddie Vedder and surfer Laird Hamilton, who like to go everywhere together and surf a lot. Why am I thinking this program will launch a thousand subsequent slash fics- most written by me?!
THE STRIP (Thurs Oct 2, Nine- 8:30pm)
Imagine my displeasure when I found out that this show, starring one of my favourite servings of Aussie Beef, Aaron Jeffrey, was some boring Police Drama instead of an hour of Aaron slowly shucking (no, I said *shucking* another layer of clothing). Aaron was meant to be playing Ian Roberts in a biopic some years back- not sure it ever got through the goalposts though…
THE HAIRY BIKER’S COOKBOOK (Wed Oct 22, SBS- 7:30pm)
Cooking show that travels around all over the place cooking the kind of food that’ll put hair on your chest (and arms, legs, bum and face) irregardless of your gender. Those viewers into bears (in a non-zoological sense) will view this less as cookery and more like porn, methinks…
FAMILY GUY & AMERICAN DAD (Thurs Oct 23, Seven- 10:20 & 10:50pm)
All new episodes of the cult hits from genius animator/voice artist Seth McFarlane about the Griffins (FAMILY GUY) and the Smiths (AMERICAN DAD), two modern nuclear families which are consistently funnier than THE SIMPSONS lately. Probably because they run a new episode more than twice a decade (hint, hint, Kenny Kidna)…
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL (Fri Oct 24, Ten- 7:30pm)
Fairly awful US-based Reality TV hosted by Tyra Banks, a successful model who looks remarkably like the Salacious Crumb from RETURN OF THE JEDI. The show is somewhat self-explanatory, with girls (and guys occasionally) competing for a lucrative career of being draped over sports cars whilst wearing spandex and then marrying a wrinkly British rock star. The current US season features an awesome first- the ethereally beautiful and upfront trans contestant, Isis, whom has already had to fend off the usual Homophobia from her competitors (‘I’m gonna slap that man down’).
WIRE IN THE BLOOD (Fri Oct 24, ABC-8:30pm)
Creepy and unconventional series about oddball Forensic Psychiatrist Doctor Tony Hill (played very convincingly by the creepy and unconventionally sexy Robson Green) who has a knack for getting into the minds of Psychopaths because he’s pretty much just as crazy as they are. Always chilling and confronting, and often very gay inclusive.
HOT POTATOES!
DEXTER (Sun Oct 26, Ten- 10pm)
This awesome Forensic Serologist moonlighting as a serial killer of other killers gets more breath-taking (on many different levels) with each passing episode, and Michael C. Hall’s psychotic Dexter Morgan continues to do interesting but somewhat creepy things to my libido; Doing less creepy but still interesting things to my lesbian friends is Jaime Murray as Dexter’s cop sister, who recently switched from working Vice to working Homicide, much to the chagrin of said lesbian friends who now don’t see Jaime in tight-fitting, skimpy clothes each week. When not playing a cop playing a streetwalker, Murray joins Hugh Laurie and Alan Rickman in the rather impressive ‘British Actors who can Easily Fool You Into Thinking They’re American with their Crafty Accents’ club, which also kind of includes Professor Stephen Hawking, although he’s only a part-time member as he a] isn’t really an actor and b] isn’t doing the American accent by choice…
90210 (Mon Oct 27, Ten- 8:30pm)
I’ll be the first to admit that my gaydar is a bit rusty and could use a hunky young mechanic to tinker with it a bit (I can find you the only straight guy in a room full of gay guys in less than a minute) but my gaydar is giving me some interesting readings around Adam Gregory, the cute young guy who plays Ty Collins, a…well, cute young guy who’s been locking lips with Shenae Grimes’ character Annie of late on the BEVERLY HILLS spinoff/follow-up. There’s just something about him that pings my Spidey Sense like Sir Ian McKellan singing selections from the Mikado. Either Adam is playing for our team in real life, or Ty is going to pull a Jack McPhee from DAWSON’S CREEK and be outed in the next few storylines. You never know- we might get lucky enough to have two for two!!
SOGGY CHIPS!
MURPHY’S LAW (Wed Oct 29, ABC- 11:30pm)
Fairly interesting legal/crime/mystery series that never addresses the real mystery- how series star James Nesbitt can consistently come in the Top 5 of UK viewer’s Sexiest Men Alive polls, despite looking like something that fell out of Margaret Thatcher’s bottom…
ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER? (Thurs Oct 30, Ten-7:30pm)
If the title of this show was ‘Are you SMUGGER than a Fifth Grader’, then host Rove McManus, sycophantic interviewer and unfunny comedian extraordinaire, would beat the little brats hands down. He was so funny and sweet on GOOD NEWS WEEK ABC- What happened?!
Gavin Pitts
