Hello m’dears, mOther’s queer – clearly. But seriously, how are we all little ones? Good? Good.

STYLEAID – wasn’t it just fantastic?! Few little pull ups though – unless you’re a girl, running around with half a chicken’s arse glued to your face isn’t fashion, it’s just sad. Especially if you’re going to go in a shirt and pants – ho-hum, yawn – boring! Neither is not washing your hands after you pee a cool thing! Nor has it even been! And I don’t care whose beau you are, wash those damn hands after handling your murkin! But on a plus note – the clothes! Fabulous. Good to see Material Boy up there, especially with all the personal dilemmas currently occurring. It was also nice to see Str3z actually wearing clothes for once too. And congratulations to WAAC for raising so much damn cash!

- Advertisement -

ZOO is the poo – so get a whiff of what’s exciting and new as the hottest little night in town gets explosive like…well, you can imagine the rest of that analogy. But rising up from the bowels is a fabulous array of exciting new treats as the ZOO crew bring together DJs, performance artists and in-house curio art which is quickly garnering this venue a reputation akin to that of the infamous Club Kooky. Still on the decks is Space, although he’ll be joined on rotation by DJ Needlenurse and psy-trancer Killian. Strykermeyer is also performing on a fortnightly rotation and promises a whole new load of shows to make his whole new look. Then every second week welcome to the stage performance artist Zoo as she indulges in Blood Theatre – this you have to see! Watch out for CDs, a chook raffle, spontaneous antics and the usual anarchy and madness from all your local human animals. Get your freak on.

Club West celebrates its 18th birthday on Saturday August 9 and, in typical fashion, is literally just bursting at the seams with an onslaught of drag and local talent slamming it out hard and fast. This isn’t to be missed, particularly since drag superstar Strykermeyer (he of the incredibly busy schedule this month – Freedom Centre workshops, Art in Bloom and Club West) is the special guest. Expect an eye lifting experience, one that’s sure to delight and excite. Visit www.clubwest.com.au for all the details.

Urban Pop hits The Court Hotel with a BANG on Saturday August 9. Yes, Feminem Hygiene hits the stage for a little Hard Candy and according to the publicity posters…well, she’s not only borrowed Guy Ritchie’s wrestling suit but she’s had her head enlarged too. But I’m sure that hasn’t effected her ego any – nor will it effect this hot little show which features songs from Madonna, Pussycat Dolls, Timbaland and many more. Hot!

It’s time to Re-Invent Yourself as Connections Nightclub and Pride WA join forces to deliver a night full of Madonna, Madonna and, yes, more Madonna. After all, it takes place on Saturday August 16, the same day as Madonna’s birthday. And in honour of the material one there’s a whole heap of hero worship going on. There are three shows starring the likes of The Giselle, Delta Force, Miss Vene-Mous, Angelina Holyshit, Fanta-Sea, Max Factor…sorry, Maybelline and heaps more. Best news? That Brash and Sassy, the babes of electro shoulder pad melodies, will be hitting the stage for a night of Maddy tunes. There’s also the chance to take out a prize pack plus $100 hot cash as the winner of the best Madonna look competition…and with so many to choose from, well. And with a night like this you can be assured every gay boy and his dog will be there. So go on…you can dance, for inspiration!

Devilles Pad at the east end of Aberdeen Street jumps in the gay end with a night not to be missed! Disco Diavolo hits on Friday August 23 and delivers an evening crammed full of fabulous retro disco. You can expect a battle of the 12′ classics, high energy, ’80s rubbish, dance floor disasters and so many one hit wonders you’d reckon you’d have gone a few rounds with TATU, Rick Astley and Milli Vanilli…all at the same time!

Coming soon? Apparently Pink is heading over to The Court. mOther isn’t sure if it’s the singer, the drink, the colour or something else wonderfully exciting but rest assured – Pink is coming The Court. Elsewhere, and Supermodels will be taking to the stage at Connections Nightclub. This glam-fest is not to be missed. It’s based on a show which was created back in the ’90s, the basic premise being that each drag queen was given a song and they each had to create a couture frock to match the majesty of said musical spot. Costumes were to be created out of household items and were to evolve as the show progressed, resulting in a changing fashion parade where the diva rules supreme. Expect this to be the big scale production debut of Miss Vene-Mous, winner of this year’s Death by Drag.

Now, do what your mOther told you and be little terriers!