This month OUTinPerth sets its sites – websites, that is – on the best of celebrity gossip between the www and the dot.com.

Ah, what a tangled worldwideweb we weave. And how much more tangled it becomes when the Internet meets something (or should we say someone?) equally fabulous. Internet meet celebrity. Celebrity meet Internet. And may the gossip that ensues reveal fame in all its debaucherous glory and provide a monumentally perfect timewaster for the public.

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1) Couture Candy (www.couturecandy.com/celebs) – Our top celebrity gossip site fuses paparazzi pics and fashion and takes celebrity stalking to the next level. Couture Candy’s Celebrity Style Blog shows pictures of various female celebrities out and about (usually shopping, the favourite past-time of any celebrity worth their weight in Louis Vuitton handbags). Next to each picture Couture Candy details from head to toe the celebrity outfit with links that allow you, the celeb obsessor, to buy it. And that click-click, bought-sold, is why this is our top celebrity time waster – not only do you get to creepily spy on otherwise ordinary (if extraordinarily attractive) people, you can buy what they buy and look like they look. So, when do we get a version for the boys?

2) Gawker Stalker (gawker.com/stalker) – Our runner-up site has all the celebs afraid to step out of their Manhattan abodes. Ah, the power the fame-worshipping public wields in the era of camera phones. Ordinary citizens (well, ordinary except for their borderline psychotic obsession with stalking celebrities) in NYC can report instantly to the Gawker Stalker (tips@gawker.com) with photos, geographic location and interesting tidbits on celebs. The tips make it online almost immediately allowing anyone with a computer to find out where, say, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are dining and then mob them like mad, crazy beasts. Can you hear that? It’s the sound of technology advancing our civilization.

3) The Superficial (thesuperficial.com) – It has the same photos and stories that the hundreds upon hundreds of other gossip sites have. However, unlike, the mass of gossites, The Superficial has hired someone who can actually write and tell jokes – wait for it – at the same time. The tagline ‘Because You’re Ugly’ says it all, particularly that the site was smart enough to know the difference between you’re and your, which says a lot in this business. While you won’t catch any breaking ‘news’ (I use that term very, very loosely), the writing is genuinely funny, though it is all from the perspective of an oversexed heterosexual male (but hey, this is celebrity gossip, we’re not exactly looking for tasteful, are we now? In fact, we’ll settle for mildly offensive and not completely politically incorrect…).

4) Jossip (www.jossip.com) – Billing itself as ‘the gossip’s gossip sheet’, Jossip occasionally strays from gossip topics into actual meaningful news. I feel it my journalistic duty to provide that word of warning, lest you accidentally educate yourself about Nike’s homophobic ad or Obama’s campaign in the course of searching for photos of the latest celebrity baby, which by the way they have as well. Of course, they wreck the joyous banality of the celeb babies by insightfully comparing the market for famous baby pics to human trafficking.

5) Most Beautiful Man (www.mostbeautifulman.com) – Two words – eye candy. Want two more words – yum, yum. MBM is for boys who like boys and like to look at pictures of famous boys who look very good in very little. There is really no redeeming substance to this site, so obviously it warrants a squiz. While more than a few unsatisfied housewives are probably getting an eyeful, it’s been put together with a gay audience in mind. Blokes are listed from A-Z and divided into five categories: actors, athletes, musicians, supermodels and models. Anyone else wish they had the job of sorting the models from the supermodels?

Dishonourable mention goes to…

Pink is the New Blog (pinkisthenewblog.com) is the New Blog seemed hopeful, as I searched from google hit #1 to #40 (at which point I clicked over to Gawker Stalker to see where Lezzy Lohan was) for a decent celeblog written from the gay angle. Pink has the sort of camp tone I respect (and will contest anyone who disses ‘the camp couture’ with a well-placed b*tchslap). However, somewhere between Cristiano Ronaldo’s bum and the new Girlicious album cover, it loses its way and forays into travel pics of a completely unknown blogster and his boyfriend. Read my lips Pink boy – no one wants to read your blog, you aren’t famous, the people you should be writing about are.

Perez Hilton (who I refuse to link to because even I have some semblance of ethics) once had a real name, but seeing as I can’t remember it at the moment, let’s just call him Joseph McCarthy, for now. After all, like Mr McC, Hilton has made his name hurtling accusations and attempting to out Hollywood celebrities. He may have succeeded in the cases of Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris, but then again, even Joey M pointed out a few actual Communists. As for the rest, well, Queen Latifah may or may not be gay and Fidel Castro may or may not be dead (though he is by all counts a communist).

Now, if you think that celebrity gossips deserve to be shot and not with a paparazzi lens, then click back next month as OUTinPerth sets our sites on something more enriching – news sites that will educate you without turning you into a dull (though useful at a quiz night) walking encyclopedia.