Yep, it’s true, I’m-a smellin’ the whiff of two of my favourite things in the air (no, not that, get your mind out of the gutter!) I’m talking, of course, about spring.. and Pride! I know spring is coming because the options for the social calendar are now popping up like daisies… and I know Pride’s coming because, well, it gets launched this month.

But first things first.

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September sees the continuation of all the regular gigs on the queer social calendar:

• Pride Women’s Sundowner @ Grapeskin – Wednesday 12th of September
• Bears Den Night @ The Den – Saturday 14th of September
• Pride Professional Alliance @ Brisbane – Wednesday 19th of September
• Lesbian Mud Wrestling @ Connections – Wednesday 12th & 27th of September

Meanwhile, The Court continues its usual Tuesday through Sunday night trade amidst the renovations, whilst Connections serves up the late night tunes inside and on the Terrace every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

But if you’re looking for something a little extra…

Those of the lesbian persuasion should consider the next offering from the Lick crew: Back to sKool, at Connections, Friday September 21. Dust off the uniform, party to some retro 80s tunes and be prepared to reminisce about that one time at band camp…

If, however, you’re of the homosexual persuasion, particularly if you’re a ‘manly’, man type of homosexual then you’ll want to turn your attention elsewhere. September 15 is a date to mark in your diary – as WoofClub makes its debut in Perth. A long running event in Melbourne, Sydney and LA, this will be the first WoofClub in Perth. It’s men-only, with a strict ‘durrty masculine’ dress-code and smell-code (!) and promising deep, durty progressive tribal and trance tunes. It’s also invite only so visit www.woofclub.com for more details. If that sounds a little too hardcore, then wait until the Friday after, the 28th, when the Bears throw open the doors to their Den for Grand Final Footy Fever Night. Kicks off at 9pm.

Regardless what kind of queer one is, though, it is likely that there will be something for all of us in the Pride Festival. The official Launch happens at the Court on September 20th, from 7.30pm, whilst – as has been the case for years – the festival kicks into high gear on the last Sunday of the month (the 30th) with Fairday returning to Russell Square in Northbridge. And if all the fun and frivolity and hiding from exes and managing puppies and drinking beer and getting sunburnt doesn’t tucker you out, then you’d best be off to the official Pride after party at The Court. The Court promises their regular lineup of stellar DJs and enough food to feed the masses. And if that’s STILL not enough, then you’d best be checking out Luvball at Gilkinsons. Heralding the return of the Climaxx crew with perennial favourite Scott Anderson, it promises to be another hot party. Last but never least, try Electric Ponyride at Connies.

And if that all of Perth’s queer part-tay options aren’t enough to keep you satisfied then whip out your frequent fliers and get over to Sydney for Sleaze (Sept 29). I know it’s not a Perth event, but the darker and dirtier version of the Mardi Gras party deserves a (dis)honourable mention. The theme this year is Zircus. Think twisted, sexy Berlin circus and you’ll be on the right track. And if you’re in town and capable of 24 hours without sleep, then you’ll definitely want to check out Luminere the day after. Presented by Toybox, the master’s of day time fun happens at Luna Park – check out www.luminere.com.au for more info.

If you’re not so keen to go flying to the other side of the country then there’s a couple other gigs in Perth also worth a mention.

For you hippy tree-hugging types, Earthdance is calling. September 14-16 at the Fairbridge Village, north of Pinjarra. It’s a melting pot of dance, music, art, culture, and markets all squished together into one happy touchy-feely festival. Everyone from DJs to performance artists, stall holders to poets and alternative healers will be in attendance, and there’s even facilities for children. Think Burning Man, but kinda different. Get along for the chance to be involved in an attempt at the world’s largest synchronized ‘om’, and feel warm and fuzzy knowing that your entry fees are going to some worthy charities.

For a more conventional dance experience, that electronic juggernaut, Godskitchen returns to Metro City and Club Capitol on September 28. Featuring three big stages the line up includes trance superstars Rank 1, living legend M.I.K.E (otherwise known as Push) both whom have recently collaborated with Armin van Buren. Add to that Micky Slim, The ThrillSeekers, Kurd Maverick, Richard Durand.. and Alex Gaudino, the man behind the guaranteed floor-filler ‘Destination Calabria’ – and it’s shaping up to be one hell of a night for Godskitchen fans. And this year, promoters are attempting to go that extra mile with continuous shuttle buses running between the venues. No freezing ya arse off crossing the railway and minimal queuing. Sounds like a winner.

And that’s all from Uncle Aram for now, and for a while. ‘They’ say it’s because they want me to focus my considerable creative energy on things more highbrow… secretly I reckon it’s just cause they’ve got a younger prettier thing in.

So look out for him next edition… and from me, it’s over and out.