‘Violence Against Women – Australia Says No’. You may have seen the recent advertising campaigns screening nationally on T.V. It seems domestic abuse/violence has finally been given priority on the agenda of public policy. While these ads are a huge step forward for publicizing the issue, you may have also noticed that people of diverse sexuality and/or gender (DSG) are not portrayed within these campaigns.

Research is showing that alarmingly high rates of men and women abuse their same sex partner. In 2005, a nation wide survey on the health and wellbeing of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and intersex Australians, Private Lives, found that 32.7% of DSG people had experienced abuse from an intimate partner, a higher percentage than the 25% estimated amongst the general population.

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Jude Comfort from WACHPR conducted The WA Lesbian and Bisexual Women’s Health and Well-being Survey in 2006 which found that 28.9% of DSG women had experienced physical abuse from an intimate partner, 47.6% of women had experienced emotional abuse from an intimate partner, and 58.8% of this abuse was enacted by a female partner.

An American survey compared intimate partner victimization rates between same-sex and opposite-sex couples from a sample of 8,000 women and 8,000 men. Approximately 15% of the men who lived with an intimate male partner reported being raped, physically assaulted and/or stalked, while only 7.7% of men who lived with female partners reported such violence. (Tjaden &Thoennes, 2000). To demonstrate the scale of the issue, domestic abuse has been identified as the third most severe health problem for American gay men, following HIV and substance use (Island & Letellier, 1991).

The intention of illuminating statistics is not to shatter any vision of queer relationship utopia, but simply to encourage collective ownership of an issue affecting many within our community.

In addition to the tools a heterosexual enacting abuse has at their disposal, a person abusing their same sex partner may take advantage of their internalized homophobia, or use the reality of a heterosexist society as a tactic for manipulation and control. For example:

• Threatening to ‘out’ their partner to their family, work colleagues or former opposite sex partner
• Threatening to take children away from a non-biological mother or father
• Associating or blaming a person’s sexuality or gender expression for their maltreatment
• Normalizing or justifying abusive behaviour as a part of gay culture, such as engaging in non-consensual BDSM (bondage & discipline/dominance &submission/sadism & masochism), or non-monogamy without prior agreement
• Isolating their partner from social support by making contact with the gay community difficult through constant jealousy or accusations of infidelity
• Discouraging contact with family or mainstream services by playing on the fear of a homophobic response.

Stereotypes of femininity and masculinity can get in the way of identifying who is enacting abuse within DSG relationships, as can assumptions and stereotypes about butch/femme or top/bottom dynamics.

There is no stereotypical profile for an enactor of abuse; a person can be of any physical build, health, gender expression or strength. Individuals who behave abusively tend to exploit whatever differences in power that exist within their relationship, including their partner’s lack of family support, social isolation, economic dependency or discomfort over their sexuality. Young people who are in their first same sex relationship are particularly vulnerable to accepting an abusive dynamic as the norm, having few established support networks within the community to use as a models for healthy relationship.

Gay men and lesbians have historically had a low level of reporting any type of crime to the police (Thompson, 1995). The Private Lives report found that of those experiencing abusive relationships, only 1 in 10 reported it to the police.

Some of the reasons behind the choice not to disclose abuse may include:

• Not wanting to report to a legal system perceived as heterosexist
• Fearing a homophobic or inadequate response by police. For example, police may misinterpret same sex DV as a ‘fair fight’ between men or a ‘cat fight’ between women
• The smallness of the gay and lesbian community – fearing gossip, not being believed, friends taking sides, and the possibility of further isolation from the community particularly if the enactor of abuse is a high profile personality
• The fear of being ‘outed’ or losing privacy during the court process

An atmosphere of fear and silence is the greatest ally to perpetuating abuse within a relationship. Therefore, it is clear that as a community there needs to be public recognition of domestic abuse as a real issue. We all need to keep imagining a new and better community, ideally establishing support networks and services that also honor privacy and confidentiality, and which go beyond the gender based theories which have traditionally been the impetus of the anti-domestic violence movement.

The Same Sex Domestic Abuse Group (SSDAG) have developed a training workshop for service providers in any health/ social service field (police, refuge workers, social workers, GP’s etc.) to improve their response to people of diverse sexuality and/or gender experiencing abuse in a relationship.

For a referral list of DSG friendly refuges and other services please call GLCS on 9420 7201 or visit the Opening Closets website: www.openingclosets.com.

If you are interested in registering as a service provider for SSDAG workshops, please call the project manager on 9227 9802 or 0428 958 873 or visit the website.

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Article by Bree van de Zuidwind, Project worker for SSDAG (Same Sex Domestic Abuse Group)